


Iudicium ad Cordis

by RocioZero



Category: Dragon Ball Super
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, SLOW AF, Selfcest, Slow Burn, ZamaBlack, blamasu, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28844799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioZero/pseuds/RocioZero
Summary: Cornered by the power of the Saiyans of the past, Gowasu convinces Black and Zamasu to turn themselves in, thus abandoning the Zero Mortals Plan and surrendering to the judgment of the deities that still survived in that universe. Black has his reasons for surrendering but Zamasu doesn't share them, generating disagreements and hard feelings among them… but also the flourishing of other feelings, unexpected and unknown until that moment. However, an inescapable judgment awaits them.
Relationships: Goku Black/Zamasu, Zamasu/Goku Black
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Desperatio

**Author's Note:**

> Generally, I follow the historical canon quite strictly, but in this story I took some argumentative liberties (without becoming an AU, either). I hope you understand and can enjoy it despite that. Clarification: the beginning is not an invention, it's based on the manga story (which differs from the anime). Also, my Latin knowledge is very poor, so if someone knows more than me and sees a mistake in the chapter names, please let me know.  
> Chapters will be updated once or twice a week. Enjoy reading.
> 
> Thanks a lot to @MadamBiscuit for beta-reading! ♥
> 
> Iudicium ad Cordis = Trial to the Heart

A dark moss-green sky covered the scene of an alternate apocalyptic future. Black and Zamasu crossed the sky, looking for the last living humans on Earth to finally end the entire species. It was useless to resist, Black could perceive even the smallest of them, to end their life without mercy. The cusp of his plan was getting closer and closer; at last the Zero Mortals Plan would be consummated! Black's heart filled with excitement at the thought as he gazed down from a rooftop at a warehouse, the last hiding place for the nearly extinct Earthlings. He indicated this to Zamasu and he came hurrying, eager to finish his mission on the planet. Black remained in place, listening to the delicious sound of desperate screams and attacks exploding within. He closed his eyes for a moment and began to remember everything he had fought to get there… The resentment and neglect that he experienced daily in his life as a servant, the abandonment of his divine body in search of a greater power, traveling through time until he found a scenario that would facilitate his plan, his alliance with his other self. That was one of his greatest satisfactions –having found himself and pulling him out of his misery to accompany him in his plan. Zamasu hadn't hesitated to follow him as soon as he verified that this person was his past self, and the bond they forged was stronger than any other relationship they could've had in their life. It was easy for a person who reflected his essence, a soul who would understand and support him unconditionally.

"Zamasu!"

Black's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. It was Gowasu, who had somehow survived his fate of being killed by his disciple in an alternate past. He approached and started talking to Black, indicating that he was wrong, that he should stop this madness and that his way of seeing things was twisted. Black strongly denied it, but couldn't help feeling annoyed at being lectured by his old master. Was it because his words held a bit of truth? No, it couldn't be. If Black had gotten where he was, it was because he was pursuing his convictions, the sense of justice that the other gods were unable to exercise.

"This is my responsibility… I am your teacher, and I didn't know how to teach you well," Gowasu continued his speech with a rueful gesture. "Zamasu, come with me. Let's fix this and start over."

Black didn't hide his surprise upon hearing those words. What was that old man saying? Fix things? Start over? He said it as if that was even possible. "It's too late; the plan has already been started. There is no turning back."

"You're wrong! There is always time to change your destiny. Come, acknowledge your mistakes and let's return to universe 10." Gowasu commented with a kind expression as he extended his hand towards Black.

Black stared at him, stunned. How was it possible that he was offering him a chance for exoneration at this point? Hadn't he seen everything he'd already done? How was he even able to conceive the idea of forgiving him after witnessing the degree of rebellion against the system he defended?  
Black pouted and slowly extended his hand toward Gowasu, who reacted by smiling happily. But before touching him, Black activated his ki sword and pierced Gowasu's chest. It was too late to feel guilty. If it was necessary to assassinate his master a third time, he would do it.  
Gowasu's body fell to the ground before the astonished eyes of Shin, Trunks and Mai. Driven by an uncontrollable impulse of anger, the Kaioshin from universe 7 lunged at Black, but Zamasu stopped him midway. However, Gowasu had managed to survive the impact, to the surprise of his "killer". Black left his location with the intention of finishing his task, no matter who stood in his way; Trunks was no match for him, with this he would finally end this whole dilemma. But suddenly, two known energies appeared somewhere nearby –Goku and Vegeta had returned from the past to continue their fight. Goku helped the others escape using instant transmission, and only Vegeta was left to fight Black. Vegeta looked very confident and this motivated Black. Would some change have happened that increased his power? That would help increase his own abilities, so Black smiled confidently and left with his opponent to a more remote place for the duel. But there was a problem… Vegeta was certainly more powerful than last time. Black had difficulty perceiving his movements, avoiding his blows, and recovering after impacts. How was such a big change possible in such a short time? Black grit his teeth and continued to fight, while Vegeta continued to easily evade him and tease him with his sarcastic words. Black deduced Vegeta's attack system but it was of little use to him; he wasn't able to access a new transformation so soon, and the current one could barely keep up with him… He couldn't continue like this. But it was too late to admit failure!  
A swift kick from Zamasu sent Vegeta flying a few meters, unable to see him due to the location in which he appeared. Black wasn't comfortable with this attitude, but he had no choice but to accept it; the options to fight his enemy were beginning to shrink. Goku appeared on the battlefield and persuaded Zamasu to continue in a one-on-one fight, to which Zamasu agreed. Black watched suspiciously how Goku had brought a small clay container with him, but didn't have time to think about it, as Vegeta was attacking him again.  
A few meters away, Zamasu was preparing to fight Goku, but he wasn't ready for the technique he would witness.

" Mafuuba!"

Zamasu watched the technique with a slight surprise until he felt a powerful current begin to drag him into a demonic spiral. No matter how hard he resisted, he couldn't get out of its way; Goku controlled it with difficulty. Finally, the energy beam entered the clay container, taking Zamasu with it.  
Black perceived the energy of this technique and had been observing the events from a distance, but as soon as he saw how Zamasu's body was absorbed in that small jar, his heart skipped a beat. Zamasu had been defeated !? Black's expression hardened, already seized with fear and unease. He saw how Goku and Trunks closed the jar and tied it with threads and cloth and celebrated, having gotten rid of their enemy. Black's heart was beating desperately, but he couldn't free himself from Vegeta to go rescue his partner. If this meant the end of his ally… what would become of him? The whole plan was useless without the help of Zamasu, who would remain as the immortal god who would rule the new universal system. Black couldn't concentrate and received several blows from Vegeta, giving him no chance to be distracted by the subject. If he didn't do something… this fight would be in vain.  
But the situation didn't last long; the container began to move with force and, accompanied by a strong beam of light, Zamasu managed to escape of his prison, reappearing a few meters away. Black noticed this immediately and sighed in relief, although Zamasu didn't appear to be in good condition. Again he returned to his adversary, whom he couldn't win against anyway. Zamasu got up from his place and launched various insults towards Goku and Trunks for embarrassing him in this way, and again a fight broke out against Goku, against whom Zamasu didn't have much of a chance. Though his body could regenerate at a great speed, his power was not comparable –he didn't have his speed or his strength, not even his divine abilities could make a difference. Goku hit him from all sides while teasing him by telling him that he was no match for him and that he was only a tool for his other self.  
Black was watching the show from a distance, and for the first time, he began to really worry about the situation. Zamasu was humiliated over and over again, being beaten, thrown around, and dragged all over the ground; he saw how Zamasu's face and body were filled with blood and marks, how he suffered the pain of the wounds for a few seconds before his body regenerated. The time was minimal, but the number of times that Goku pushed him into this situation was alarming. Black, for his part, was not able to cope with Vegeta, the difference in level was remarkable. It was inconceivable, but the Saiyans of the past were foiling his plans.  
Gowasu, who had recovered with the senzu beans, reappeared a few meters from them.

"Zamasu! You still have time to stop all of this. Repent of your sins and let's end this ridiculous fight!"

Black clicked his tongue. There were no sins to repent of.

"You know you cannot win this battle," Gowasu continued. "Even if you could, we already know your intentions, and we can easily turn to Zeno-sama to take action on the matter. There is no hope for your plan anymore. Give up while you can."

Those words froze Black's movements; he broke away from Vegeta and stood a few feet away, catching his breath. Gowasu was right, but… How could he abandon his plan, the dream of his life? Black wouldn't give up his convictions so easily. "You say it like it's so simple. Zeno-sama would never forgive us after everything we did. We have nowhere to go back to, we can't go back!"

"That is not true!" Gowasu replied briskly. "Zeno-sama is a merciful god and I'm sure that he would spare your life. Your actions deserve punishment, but I will bear it. I'm also responsible for all of this. You are my apprentice, I still watch over you."

In that moment, Zamasu crash-landed at Black's feet, after being hit for the umpteenth time by Goku. Black lowered his eyes and saw how his partner, that person whom he himself convinced to abandon his routine and accompany him on his crusade, was writhing in intense pain, immersed in humiliation. Zamasu's body regenerated, got up with some difficulty, and returned to the battlefield, but Black wouldn't be able to erase that image from his retinas. Zamasu was suffering, and it was his fault. He had promised him a paradise based on their shared dream, but it had turned into a personal hell, where Zamasu could spend eternity being beaten by that despicable Saiyan. Black could take the blows to his person, but Zamasu… He was too important for him to let him suffer like this. Any punishment that awaited him from another deity would be less horrible than continuing to experience that scene.

"If we were to turn ourselves in… wouldn't they imprison us? Would you take care of us?" Black asked, suspiciously.

"Yes, of course! It was my fault for not having realized your bad intentions that this got out of control. I will take responsibility for you and face Zeno-sama's judgment."

Gowasu made gestures with his hands, extending his arms as if trying to receive Black again in his bosom; the false saiyan just watched reluctantly. Black glanced to the side and saw Goku and Zamasu fighting, the latter at a disadvantage, as always. This was the last scenario he had expected to star in. And it was unbearable for him.

"How long do you plan to keep babbling?" Vegeta yelled, clenching his fists as he readied to launch himself at his opponent, but stopped at a wave of Black's hand.

"If I accept your offer," Black replied, always looking at Gowasu, "it would be on one condition."

"Yes, tell me," Gowasu answered eagerly.

Black took a few seconds to continue.

"I want Zamasu to be exempt from trial. I will bear all the blame for the Zero Mortals Plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desperatio = Desperation


	2. Culpa

"I was the one who persuaded Zamasu to carry out this plan. If I surrender, he must be free of guilt. All responsibility will fall on me."

Gowasu listened in shock. He was thinking of the strange act of altruism that his disciple was having towards his other self. And, on the other hand, he doubted if he could really guarantee something like this –to separate Future Zamasu of all blame was unfair and unequal. But Gowasu wanted to do everything he could to win back his apprentice's heart.

"Alright," he replied, swallowing hard.

"Promise me," Black insisted, his face hardening.

"I promise," Gowasu replied, nodding seriously, his hand to his heart.

Black let out a sigh. He would never have expected to give in to a threat, to defeat itself… But circumstances exceeded his anticipation. It was hard to admit it, but his power was overcome and his plan was thwarted. He no longer had any future if he continued with it. "… Okay," he said reluctantly.

Gowasu smiled widely, delighted that his apprentice had finally come to his senses.

"Wait," Vegeta said, a few meters away. "Are you giving up?"

Vegeta wasn't very satisfied with the decision, he would've liked to finish Black with his own hands. Black only answered his question with a stern look.  
A little further, Zamasu and Goku continued fighting. Zamasu again fell close to Black, but this time the latter approached him before he lunged again.

"Wait, Zamasu," he stopped him, taking him by the arm. "Enough. We're done."

"Done?" Zamasu questioned, narrowing his eyes a little. "What do you mean?"

"What I said. Everything is over. This is as far as we can go."

Zamasu's gaze froze for a few moments, paralyzed by confusion.

"What's happenin' around here?" Goku asked, landing near the group, curious by the scene he was seeing.

"Zamasu has agreed to turn himself in," Gowasu replied, smiling.

"What!?" Zamasu turned his gaze to Black, who was watching him with an expression of utter frustration. "What the hell is Gowasu saying?"

"You got him correctly. We no longer have a chance to win. It's useless to continue resisting the truth. I decided that it's better to stay alive than to continue fighting a fight that will only destroy our dignity."

"You have to be kidding!" Zamasu yelled, moving his arm, trying to free himself from his partner's grip. "I did not agree to any of that!!"

Zamasu used to be calm, but the previous fight with Goku had frayed his nerves. And this new revelation only caused his anger to rise, and to interfere in all his expressions.

"You should thank your partner," Vegeta cut in, leaning closer. "I would've loved to beat you up, but it's the best decision. Acknowledge that you're no match for us. Your misdeeds end here."

Zamasu grit his teeth in disdain. How was it possible that his counterpart had accepted such a deal? And without asking him? Had he been manipulated in some way by Gowasu? "I will never surrender to you, you vile human scum." Zamasu continued in denial. "The gods will not fall to your shameful species!"

"Zamasu!" Black scolded him. "Look around you," he addressed him in a lower voice. "We can't handle this anymore. We tried our best, but we couldn't do it. I don't know how, but these Saiyans are stronger than us. And now that other Kaioshins are aware of what we've done, we will not be able to escape from Zeno-sama's judgment. We have no alternative."

"How can you say that," Zamasu replied, an expression of utter hatred disfiguring his face. "You promised me that you would become the most powerful being of this world! Of all the universes! And now you are telling me you cannot beat these stupid mortals! You lied to me; you could not win against them! You deceived me!!" Zamasu howled and struggled, still trying to escape from Black, who held him without difficulty. But Zamasu was desperate.

"I don't like the idea either! But we can't go on with this."

"What do you mean we cannot!?" Zamasu replied, out of his mind, always moving and trying to get away. "Speak for yourself! I can continue fighting against them as long as I want, I am immortal!"

"Yes, you are immortal, but not invulnerable!" Black pulled Zamasu closer so they were face-to-face. "Do you plan to continue fighting with Goku for all eternity? Fighting and fighting even though you can't scratch him, getting hurt and humiliated a thousand times more? Or do you want to be locked in an urn like they did just now? I couldn't bear to see that anymore! Let's face it, we've been outmatched!"

Black was breathing hard, worked up by his own answer. Zamasu watched him, still incredulous. Those words _did_ hurt him.

"You promised me that we would be the only gods to rule our utopia," Zamasu commented, his voice low, his eyes brimmed with tears. "You promised me that we would create a new world together!"

Black swallowed hard. Those silver eyes in which he had been reflected so many times showed tears for the first time. Bitter, cold tears that would find no comfort, perhaps ever. "I know. I'm sorry," Black replied quietly.

Zamasu pursed his lips and pulled out of Black's grip, who this time offered no resistance. He didn't know how to react. The uneasiness was too strong, but how could he avoid this situation? Black had given himself up and he couldn't accomplish much on his own. It was a betrayal of himself.

"Are you finished? Or will I have to beat you up again?" Vegeta chimed in, eager to get the matter over with.

Black turned to the others, hoping Zamasu didn't react unfavorably. "Yes," he replied reluctantly.

Gowasu smiled at the agreement, but Zamasu has his head down, trying to hide his discomfort and the excessive frustration that spread throughout his being. It was inexplicable that his dream ended in this way; that all his efforts ended in nothing. But he certainly no longer had the means to rebel; he could only accept the insipid punishment to which his counterpart had condemned him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Culpa = Guilt


	3. Damnare

The case of the traitor Kaios was brought to Zeno-sama for review. As expected, Zeno was unaware of these events; the God of All Things was always busy with other matters, though not necessarily of greater importance. The scrutiny was carried out by a circle made up of the Grand Priest and several angels, since they were the only deities left in that timeline to collaborate in the task. Only their conclusions would be raised up to Zeno-sama for his final verdict.  
The charges were not negligible –the Zamases had denied their role, stolen a privileged tool such as the Time Ring, traveled through time on several occasions, murdered their master and all the deities of that timeline, devastated an uncountable number of planets, and extinguished several species of mortals, not to mention the destruction of the legendary super dragon balls, which made it difficult to easily repair the damage caused. The number of crimes was heinous, and the punishment they deserved was practically unimaginable. However, Gowasu came forward as co-responsible for those acts. He accepted his ineptitude as a teacher, unable to dispel Zamasu's constant misanthropic doubts, and his inability to foresee that his own apprentice would reach a point of no return where he would become a threat to all universes. He also confessed to having promised them a punishment beyond confinement, since it was the condition that was imposed on him to accept the offer of surrender. The deities were faced with a strong dilemma. On the one hand, they had two beings, two universal criminals, who had desecrated the laws of the gods and who deserved centuries of punishment. On the other, their will of repentance, and a Kaioshin who took responsibility for them. The issue was delicate.

The debate took place in Zeno-sama's palace, in a room for that purpose, very similar to a court. Gowasu was responsible for telling his version of the facts and clarifying the conditions that he accepted for the case; Black and Zamasu were only allowed to enter the room for a short time to answer some specific questions, although they weren't in the mood to tell their story or their opinion. Zamasu had hardly spoken a word from the moment Black gave up; there was no point in ranting when his fate had already been chosen by others, nor did he address his partner at all. Such a betrayal was unforgivable.

After a while of debate among the participants of the official circle, Zamasu and Black entered the venue again to know the results. The controversy turned out to be bigger than everyone expected; this case was exceptionally complex. In the first place, the punishment that these two criminals deserved couldn't be calculated in just a few hours of discussion. Second, Zeno-sama was more concerned about the state of his timeline than about the judgment of these two; the 12 universes had been devastated, there was barely a small portion of mortals left alive in all of them, and there were no deities to control the flow of reality. The main task at the moment was to rebuild the universes and restore the general order; Zamasu and Black couldn't be punished immediately because there were no beings capable of doing it. But neither could they allow circumstances to outweigh the need for justice.  
Gowasu suggested that he could take care of Black and Zamasu by taking them with him to the Kaio world in their respective universe and taking responsibility for them until the clique reached a consensus and could inflict the right punishment on them. It wasn't a crazy idea; it was normal to put controversial cases on hold until an agreement was reached. But this particular case was unusual: Gowasu would have to abandon his own timeline to stay in this one until further notice, thus neglecting his duties as Kaioshin in his own time. Gowasu justified himself by arguing that Universe 10 would hardly have difficulties in his short absence, unlike this reality, which now absolutely lacked its watchers, and that if he took both of them to his past he would have no way of being contacted for the verdict.

Thus, the transitory sentence was imposed: Black and Zamasu would be confined in the Sacred World of the Kais of universe 10, under the surveillance of Gowasu. They wouldn't be allowed to leave this location, and for this, an energy network would be installed that would cover the entire planet, strong enough that it couldn't be easily destroyed and that would also prevent them from escaping through techniques such as instant transmission. The cloister would only last until the group of deities reached an agreement on the official sentence for the two criminals. One of the angels questioned the idea, noting that Black or Zamasu could easily assassinate Gowasu under those circumstances, but Black stepped forward to clarify that he had no interest in doing something like that; he had only killed his master to obtain the Time Ring, not for personal reasons. And currently, it wouldn't do them any good to do something like that, since they themselves agreed to turn in.  
With all the initial dilemmas resolved, Zamasu and Black were officially placed under the tutelage of Gowasu, who would officiate as a link between them and the divine authorities. The three withdrew from the room until leaving the palace, where Gowasu transported them all to their new home by means of the Kai Kai skill. In a blink of an eye, Gowasu, Zamasu and Black appeared on the Sacred World of the Kais of universe 10. Although it was the same in all realities, Zamasu was the only one who was truly familiar with it, as he was the only one of the three who had inhabited it. For the two Zamases this place had already been a kind of prison all their lives, so this situation wouldn't be too different, they thought.

"Follow me."

Gowasu called out to the duo and began walking down the stone path that led to the entrance of the temple. When they got closer, he turned around. "Listen, I want this to be very clear," Gowasu addressed them very seriously. "You turned yourselves in, but I'm not responsible for choosing your punishment. You're here on a temporary basis until the angels and Zeno-sama figure out what to do with you. They will be the ones who dictate your sentence; I have no part in it. While you're here, I'll officiate as Kaioshin of universe 10 and you two will be my disciples, just as you had been before the incidents.

Zamasu and Black remained attentive but confused by this clarification.

"Are you not going to punish us for what we did?" Black asked, with a somewhat confused expression.

Gowasu smiled softly. "Of course not, that's not my duty. I'm your teacher and, as such, my job is to correct the mistakes of my students. I think if we have the opportunity to spend some time together and discuss what happened, we could reach an agreement on our opinions. Or at least we can talk about it without having to hide your intentions."

Black raised his eyebrows, surprised by this reaction. He knew his teacher, Gowasu, was a very tolerant being, but to the point of forgiving them for having taken over 12 universes… He really didn't expect something like that. Zamasu didn't share the idea, he remained serious and his face covered in gloom.

"So, what will we do while we're here?" Black asked.

"The same thing you did when you were my disciples –learn. Although I'll have to change the perspective of my lessons a bit." Gowasu put his hand to his chin, turning his attention to the road again. He only took a few steps when he remembered something. "Zamasu," Gowasu called, turning a little.

"Yes."

Zamasu and Black had responded in unison. It was natural; they both identified themselves by the name 'Zamasu'. Gowasu watched them for a moment, somewhat impressed. "Well, this is a problem." He scratched his cheek as he realized he couldn't use that name to address one of them specifically. "Let's see… Your name was 'Goku Black', wasn't it?" he asked, addressing Black.

"That's what the Earthlings called me."

"Very well, then you're familiar enough with that name. From now on you will be Black. You…" addressing Zamasu, "will keep your name, Zamasu."

"Understood." Again they both responded in unison. Although in appearance they were very different, deep down they were the same person and it showed in some of their attitudes, like this one.

"What was I on… ah, yes," Gowasu remembered what he wanted to say at first. "As I said, you will be my disciples from now on. So you must give back the Potara you're carrying."

Black and Zamasu widened their eyes at this information. They hadn't even contemplated it, but it was obvious that sooner or later they would have to make changes due to their new life of punishment.

"As you know, green Potara can only be used by the Kaioshin. You got them by murdering… me," Gowasu said in a somewhat confused tone. "So you're not the legitimate bearers of that accessory. You must return them and you'll wear your apprentice orange Potara again."

Black swallowed hard, Zamasu made a slight grimace of disgust. They took off the earrings without reproach and gave them to their teacher.  
It was an unpleasant feeling for both of them. A pair of Potara for two people was the symbol they used since the beginning not only to indicate their position as Kaioshin, but to recognize themselves as one person. Because despite coming from different timelines, Zamasu and Black knew that they were the same, that one was half of the other, just like the pair of earrings. Giving it up was like seeing each other as different people again. It was just a sensation; they knew that something like earrings had no correlation with their perception as equals, but anyway it was like a little mourning.

"As for you, Black," Gowasu continued, "you must replace your outfit with the clothes of a Kaio apprentice. You will be equal in your position; it's what corresponds to you."

Black hesitated before replying. "Can I keep the undergarment? Kaio clothes don't fit me anymore…"

Gowasu thought about it for a few seconds and confirmed, nodding. "Let's enter the temple. We don't know how long we'll have to stay here; Zeno-sama and the other angels are very busy with the destroyed universes, so it might take them a while to come to a decision. In the meantime, let's get settled in for our stay."

Gowasu turned and continued walking towards the entrance of the Kaioshin palace. Black took a look at Zamasu; he still looked grumpy. He should take advantage of the time they had together to resolve this friction between them; he didn't want to spend the little time of freedom that he had left at enmity with his other self. They would have to deal with more problems as soon as they faced the sentence that awaited them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnare = Condemnation


	4. Absolutionem

The palace of the Kaioshin of universe 10 was just as everyone remembered it; no significant changes caught their attention. When they walked through the courtyard, Zamasu glanced at the spot where Gowasu had been assassinated and his body had vanished; there were no traces of blood or any sign to indicate it, but he remembered the place very well. It was where it all began… Thinking that his daring adventure would end in this way only made him feel a little more distressed.  
The first thing Gowasu did was enter the palace and walk through the corridors until he found Zamasu's room and indicated that since this was his original bedroom, he would continue to be the occupant of it. In front of his room, there were several other unused rooms, so Gowasu opened one of the doors and, with the help of his powers, cleaned and arranged the room in no time so that Black could occupy it. The place looked identical to Zamasu's bedroom, which Gowasu did on purpose since he remembered well that they were the same person and, therefore, their tastes regarding the comfort of his bedroom shouldn't be very different. Black didn't thank him for the decision nor show agreement or disagreement. While they were still in the hallway, Gowasu reminded him that he should dress according to his new position, so he performed a quick one-handed incantation and a Kaio outfit appeared in front of Black, who took it. Black entered his room and changed his clothes immediately; he would no longer wear his gray gi, but he kept the black undershirt and pants. Luckily, Gowasu was cautious enough to conjure up a Kaio suit big enough to suit his new musculature. Immediately, the old man made another movement and materialized two pairs of orange Potara in his hand and brought them closer to the duo, who reluctantly took them and put them on. Those new earrings felt insignificant compared to the Kaioshin Potaras they used to wear.  
Now that they'd solved that issue, Gowasu indicated that they should go out to the meadow, that he wanted to have a cup of tea with them to calm the nerves of the day's events. Black and Zamasu followed him warily until they reached the foot of the Sacred Tree, where Gowasu had a fondness for afternoon tea. The table and the two red chairs remained in place, just as they would be on any given day in their routine. As if the furniture were totally indifferent to the revolution that had happened in that universe. Gowasu again used his powers to create a new chair identical to the others, so that the three of them could sit together.

"I think the fairest thing to do is to rotate the tea-making shifts on a daily basis," Gowasu commented, eyeing his new disciples. "You can start today, Zamasu; tomorrow Black will do it, and so on for as long as we're together."

Zamasu didn't agree with the idea; he had no desire to dedicate his life to preparing teas, but given the situation, he couldn't refuse. "Yes, Gowasu-sama," he replied with a slight bow and headed back to the palace to prepare everything.

Gowasu made a gesture inviting Black to sit down; he sat first and Black followed him, sitting across from his master. He wasn't sure what their coexistence would be like from now on, what this extraordinary situation he had gotten himself into would bring him. His master didn't look upset by all the events, but Black knew that it couldn't be like that, that sooner or later he would face punishment for his actions.

"Look, the first flowers of the Sacred Tree are blooming."

Black woke up from his mental debate with that comment. He looked up and saw that the tree was full of pink buds, most of which hadn't yet shown their final shape. However, that didn't mitigate its beauty –you could tell that the fresh leaves of the tree had recently been born again and that the flowers that would be born would fill the wind with their fine petals. Black had always appreciated the majesty of the Sacred Tree, it was the exact example of the natural beauty for which he so wanted to fight.

"We have had a lot of interesting conversations under this tree, uh, Zamasu… Sorry, Black," Gowasu rectified; it would take a bit of getting used to the new name of his original disciple. "I admit that was one of my favorite activities, so I'm very happy to be able to relive those times." He wore a reminiscent smile on his lips.

Black was watching him very seriously. "I remember more arguments than anything else…" he cut out, somewhat grumpy.

"That also counts as a conversation. Black, now that everything is over you no longer need to hide your true feelings from me. It hurts me to think that in many of those talks you had to repress your true emotions for fear of my misunderstanding and intolerance toward your ideas. But I don't want it to be like that anymore. I wish that you and Zamasu can talk to me with complete confidence, to know what you feel. We've already seen that hiding information is useless; I don't want to make the same mistakes again."

Black looked up to see the Kaioshin's gentle smile. Why did he say those things, why did he treat him as if nothing had happened? Black couldn't hide that he was feeling a bit nostalgic in that situation too, but the circumstances were very different now. Irremediable.  
A few minutes later, Zamasu returned from the palace accompanied by the classic tea cart. He served Gowasu a cup first, then Black, and finally himself, before sitting next to them.

"Well, let's drink." Gowasu began the ceremony with a smile. He took a sip from the cup, while Black and Zamasu watched him, motionless. "What's the matter, don't you plan to taste your tea?" Gowasu asked, somewhat confused.

Black and Zamasu exchanged glances.

"Didn't you think that it might be poisoned?" Zamasu asked, slightly breaking his seriousness with a touch of suspicion.

"Of course not. I trust you wouldn't do something like that."

"We've killed you before…" Black added maliciously.

"If you wanted to kill me, you would have done so already," the old man replied, still holding the cup close to his mouth. "And without the need to hide it behind a cup of tea."

The argument was fair enough. Black took the cup too and tasted its contents, but he had to make an actual effort not to show his repulsion –the tea was terribly bitter. He glanced at Zamasu, who didn't seem to intend to even taste the infusion; all the negative emotions that distressed him at that moment could be tasted in the liquid. Black couldn't recall drinking such bitter tea, not even when he made it; it was clear that Zamasu was really frustrated and resentful. However, Gowasu hadn't made any comment about it, he was still drinking the tea like every time. As if they could all drink tea together again despite the circumstances.  
Black put the cup on the table and decided to face him.

"Why did you bring us here? Why aren't you going to punish us? "Black asked firmly, frowning a little.

Gowasu looked up gently. "Why? Out of compassion."

Black and Zamasu turned their full attention to his words.

"Mercy, piety, whatever you want to call it. I suppose you're not very familiar with the concept," he added, mildly reproachful.

"Don't play with us," Black muttered. "We broke through the barriers of space-time to ally with our other self, assassinate you, and devastate the 12 universes, and you're telling us you feel compassion?" Black's disbelief came out as a rising anxiety that was evident in his expression.

But Gowasu remained relaxed. "That's right." He set the cup on the table. "And it's a shame it's so hard for you to understand. Black, Zamasu," he addressed each one by mentioning their names, "the Kaios are deities, gods who rule beyond the existence of mortals. Our strengths are far from theirs. Anger, resentment and hatred are very human emotions, which we should not allow to enter us. However, forgiving the offender is the most divine act you can do. You yourselves recognize the inferiority of humans and your position as gods. And as such, shouldn't we be able to forgive the mistakes of others?"

Zamasu and Black's gazes softened with those words; their resentment turned to interest.

"Mortals are imperfect beings, but so are we. The gods are not absolute; we develop wisdom through the years and we can make mistakes along the way. This is exactly what has happened to you –despite your divine perfection, you have sinned against the statutes of the gods. Even without questioning your goal, your plans didn't go the way you thought, which also falls under the definition of mistake. What sense would it make to condemn you eternally? If the punishment is permanent, like death, it's useless: nothing is learned from it. But forgiving a mistake gives the other person a chance to repent, repair, and even change. You always wondered why the gods forgive humans over and over again despite their continued sins, and it's this –compassion. The ability to be forgiving and dismiss someone, because the positive potential they have is more valuable than the mistake they made. It's to recognize that we are also imperfect, but superior, and therefore we can demonstrate our divinity by giving them a new beginning, cleansing their souls and hoping for the best. It's what I feel for you at this moment. I know that you have strayed from the path, that you have committed atrocities greater than those I have observed on many of the planets in this universe… But I also know that your hearts still harbor purity since the desire that prompted your plans was simply the longing for Justice. And I have faith that you can redeem yourselves, become aware of your mistakes, and fight for the same goal but by means that don't involve hurting others. The possibility of absolution should be a universal benefit."

Black and Zamasu listened in surprise. Gowasu's speech was very clear, somewhat painful at times, but very frank and direct. Not only was his way of thinking quite valid, but his willingness to forgive them, to put into practice that ability to feel mercy and compassion for themselves, who had betrayed everything he stood for, was admirable.  
Gowasu noticed that his words had managed to mobilize his disciples and smiled.

"I told you that our talks would be more interesting now that we no longer have anything to hide from each other," he said with a smile.

"Is that how it is?" Black said, still wary. "Do you intend to absolve us, just like that?"

"Not quite. While I am willing to be pious, you two are gods, and unlike most mortals, you were fully aware of the transgressions you committed and performed at will. But beyond that, as I already said, it's not my responsibility to acquit or convict you; I don't intend to become a judge. For now, we will pick up where we left off –we'll be teacher and students for a while."

Gowasu knew that his unwilling new disciples weren't in the mood for a sermon or further explanation, so he limited himself to briefly explaining what he would do while he was with them, while they drank their tea. Currently, the greatest concern of the surviving deities was taking care of what little was left of the universes, so Gowasu would help officiate as Kaioshin until they found a replacement for his position. That wouldn't be an arduous job given the conditions in which the universes were and the small number of mortals who had survived, but it was the task that he gave himself as a co-participant in all this disaster. He wanted to do everything in his power so that the gods would recognize some of the responsibility in him and not place it completely on his disciples. Of course, the latter was not necessary to let them know.  
When they finished their snack, the old Kaioshin stretched out his arms and sighed.

"I suppose it's still too early to discuss these things; you must be somewhat stunned after this sudden turn of events. Black, take care of the utensils. We'll meet for dinner." The old man rose from his chair.

Zamasu reacted to that, raising his face. "Gowasu-sama… What are we going to do while we stay here?"

Those were the first words that Zamasu uttered all afternoon; he looked somewhat confused and unsure.

"You have no obligation other than to await the call of Zeno-sama's representatives," the old man replied, "so you're free to do as you please within the limits of the Sacred World of the Kais. You can study, rest, take care of the garden, do any recreational activity you want; the temple is at your disposal. I just ask that we meet over meals to chat and work together a bit."

Zamasu nodded softly and rose from his chair. "Then… I'll retire to my room. Excuse me."

The young man bowed slightly and withdrew into the temple, looking sad. Black wanted to say something; he was worried about what Zamasu might do in his state… but he decided to shut up, it wasn't the time or the occasion. He got up to remove the cups and saucers from the table and immediately noticed that Zamasu's was still filled with that dark and bitter liquid; he hadn't taken a sip. Black sighed slightly and just carried out his task, depositing the dishes on the cart to carry everything to wash.

"I think you should talk to him," Gowasu advised, noting Black's concern for his counterpart.

"I know. But I don't think he wants to listen to me," he replied, not looking back at him, but with an obviously frustrated expression.

Gowasu huffed. "Maybe you should do it anyway. I don't think there's _anything_ he wants to hear right now," the Kaioshin added with a rueful expression, before putting his hands behind his back and leaving the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutionem = Forgiveness


	5. Frustratio

The afternoon passed in a lethargic way. Black tried to distract himself by going out to the field near the temple to observe the plants and the soft yellow color of the sky, which was gradually darkening in a subtle sunset. He remembered how many hours of his life he had spent in the same way, escaping into nature to calm that desire for justice that struggled to get out and that never found satisfaction. And now, what was left? He had already experienced doing justice by his hands; he tried to create a perfect world to his eyes, and failed. The very idea left a bitter taste in his mouth. Turning himself in and surrendering to the judgment of the gods that he had so abhorred during those long years seemed like a bad joke. Yet he was living it, as much as he refused to acknowledge it. And it wasn't only he himself who had given himself up to that fate, but he had also dragged his companion with him; someone who had been willing to give everything for him, and who now fell back into the system's inaction, the bitter resentment, the helplessness and calm despair.  
Black grit his teeth and suddenly punched the ground, causing the small planet to shake slightly and leaving a crater on the valley's surface. He bit his lower lip, trying to contain the deep anger and disappointment that were trying to come out violently from inside him. He didn't know if his decision was the right one, and that uncertainty would continue to torture him. The false Saiyan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to appease his instinct for destruction. It was too late for regrets. He should learn to live with the consequences of his decision.

Black returned to the temple near dusk. He heard movement in one of the rooms so he approached; Gowasu was in the dining room, preparing everything for dinner. Black was surprised that his master hadn't asked for help; although he didn't provide it either, going to the other side of the planet to meditate. Gowasu spotted Black in the doorway and smiled brightly.

"Ah, Black. Just in time; dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Could you help me a little in the kitchen?"

"Sure." Black went into the kitchen with the Kaioshin, who showed him the preparations that were being cooked, and instructed him to supervise them while he took care of other things.

"I felt a slight tremor a little while ago, I assume you know the cause?" Gowasu asked, watching him out of the corner of his eye.

Black stiffened at the comment, lowering his eyes. "Oh, yeah… I'm sorry. Tomorrow I'll take care of repairing it."

Gowasu nodded, satisfied that his disciple took responsibility for the mistake. "I'll go tell Zamasu that the food will be ready in a few minutes. You can finish serving the table."

The old man came out of the kitchen and Black obeyed, arranging the dishes on the elegant dining room table. He wondered how Zamasu was, how he had lived those endless hours in the afternoon. The meeting in Zeno-sama's palace and the tea ceremony with Gowasu had distracted them for a while, but those strong feelings of frustration and disappointment didn't take long to emerge in all their intensity, reaching their hearts until they flooded with anger and disillusion. He knew that Zamasu would be living the same hell as him, and probably increased by his position as a victim of the betrayal of his other self. Black swallowed hard and forgot his own discomfort for a moment; he just wanted to know if Zamasu's soul could survive that deep attack on his dignity. Would he like to see him again? Would he even want to come out for dinner? It was a formality for him; Zamasu no longer needed to feed to survive. His presence would be an indicator of his willingness to rebuild his life; his absence, that of isolating himself in the most bitter solitude.  
Gowasu quickly returned and finished preparing the food, offering Black to sit. Surprisingly, Zamasu appeared through the doorway of one of the corridors and entered the room; he looked very serious and discouraged. The Kai glanced at his counterpart for only a moment, before sitting down opposite and remaining silent. Black frowned a little; it hurt to see his partner in that state. He wished he could do something to make up for it.

"Here's today's dish," Gowasu declared, placing a platter in the middle of the table. "Luckily, there were still some groceries in the pantry. But I'll go get some more tomorrow."

He brought out a few smaller bowls with toppings and soups to go with it and took a seat. The three of them began to serve themselves food, without exchanging too many words.

"Ah, Zamasu, I almost forgot that you're immortal now. Tell me, do you need to eat to survive?"

Zamasu toyed with the food on his plate for a few seconds before answering, without looking up. "Not really, I can survive without food. But it gives me energy. And it helped me keep a routine."

Black looked down in pity at that statement. He remembered all those nights when he returned to the cabin after exterminating hundreds of mortals and had dinner with Zamasu, celebrating their achievements for the day. To think that even yesterday they had dined together, without worrying about the future… The contrast with the current situation was too much to bear.  
He covertly shook his head, trying to shake off those thoughts; he couldn't let himself be carried away by melancholy every time the remembrance surfaced. He had to save his remaining sanity to face their next destiny.  
While the three of them dined, Gowasu made occasional comments or questions to liven up the atmosphere, but even he could see that his apprentices weren't in the mood for it. Maybe it was too early to try to cheer them up.

Dinner was mostly silent. When they had finished with their respective portions, Zamasu rose from his place.

"If you allow me, Gowasu-sama, I would like to help you clean everything so I can retire to rest for today," he commented with his usual diplomacy.

Black also got up to help his partner. But his actions were curtailed by Gowasu's response.

"It's not necessary. It wasn't a lot of food so I can take care of cleaning. You guys can go; you have done enough for today."

The two Zamases looked at him, strangely.

"Are you sure?" Black asked, confused. "It wouldn't take us more than a few minutes…"

"Yes, yes, don't worry. Tomorrow we'll return to a similar routine to the one we had and we'll organize ourselves better for the tasks. Today I prefer that you go to rest. We'll meet in the morning for breakfast."

Black and Zamasu couldn't help but meet their gazes, taken by surprise by that random act of kindness. Although Gowasu was right; it had been a very long and hard day for the young ones and it was better not to demand too much of them.

"In that case… Good night." Zamasu bowed and left the room.

Black remained standing in the same place, while Gowasu got up to begin clearing the dishes.

"You should go rest too, Black. Remember that tomorrow is your turn to make tea," Gowasu mentioned, smiling fondly.

"Yes, Master. Good night."

Black bowed a little and went to his room as well. Before entering, he spent a few moments looking at the door in front of his. He knew he had to talk to Zamasu sooner or later, but the real question was whether he would let him. Black swallowed hard. It was useless to keep questioning without moving forward. Still hesitating, he walked over and knocked softly on his partner's door.

"Zamasu, it's me."

No response was heard. After several seconds, Zamasu opened the door; he didn't look any better than he did a while ago, but Black was happy that he had at least answered.

"Do you have a moment?"

"More than I would like to," the Kai replied, with subtle aggressiveness. "Come in." Zamasu opened the door and Black entered the room cautiously. It was identical to his, but right now it almost felt like a place off-limits. Zamasu closed the door behind him and addressed his listener without moving from his place. "Well?"

"I wanted to talk to you about… everything that happened today."

"What do you want to know?" he answered curtly, crossing his arms.

Black hesitated for a few moments; he knew he had to go carefully towards his other self. His aura still felt charged with negativity. "How do you feel?" Black asked with genuine concern.

"Is that really what's bothering you? Can't you imagine how I feel?" Zamasu replied cynically.

"Yes. That's why I came to talk."

Zamasu sighed with a slightly furrowed brow. "Do you want me to be honest?"

"I would never want it any other way."

"Okay." Zamasu closed his eyes and then opened them, with a murderous look. "I am upset, furious!" he exclaimed, breaking his posture. "I had finally obtained my freedom, the power I always dreamed of, and the opportunity I waited for my whole life; I had the world, the universes in my hand, but my own partner betrayed me! Destroyed everything I had built and handed me over as an object! Without consulting me at all! And now I'm condemned to an eternal punishment that I don't even know for having followed the same person who betrayed me. Just for believing in… me!"

Zamasu's breathing had accelerated, his teeth seemed to grind. Black listened to him with a lump in his throat.

"You know how I feel? Frustrated, betrayed! The dream of my whole life was about to come true, right at my fingertips," Zamasu mentioned, looking at his hands with sorrow, his voice almost breaking, "and it was taken from me in the most vile way… And now I have to live with the certainty that I won't be able to reach it anymore, because my only chance was taken from me without warning. I only have a life of misery and mediocrity assured… A sentence worse than the one I already had before…"

Black felt the anguish build up in his chest, seeing his counterpart expressing his unease with such violence. Zamasu wasn't a person who lost his senses easily. But surely there was no situation that could affect him as much as this one he was living now.

"That's how I feel," Zamasu concluded, running his hand to brush his hair as he regained his composure, and looking back at his partner, but with a contempt that was almost palpable.

Black gave a nervous sigh. He had thought several times about what to say to him once they had a chance to talk, but the words never seemed right, if such a thing existed. He could only appeal to his hunches. "Zamasu, I… I have no words to express how sorry I am to have caused you all this."

Zamasu said nothing. Black waited a few seconds before going on.

"But I thought I should explain it to you. We haven't spoken since that time on the battlefield. I know you're angry, but you should know that deep down I did it for a reason, it wasn't a personal whim. I don't expect you to forgive me, I just want you to understand why I did it, to see it from my perspective. We had no choice; we weren't capable of defeating those Saiyans. Sooner or later we would've found defeat and I think that would've been more humiliating."

"More humiliating than giving up?" Zamasu questioned, sharpening his eyes.

"Yes. We are gods, but we must recognize our limitations. It's hard for me to believe it too, but those mortals had a strength we didn't count on."

"That _you_ did not count on," Zamasu retorted. "Your goal was to become the greatest god in all the universes, the most powerful being in existence, but you could not even win against some miserable Saiyans. What a god."

"Don't act like you anticipated that! Neither of us imagined that a rival of this level was even a possibility. Face it –we let our guard down, we didn't count on their skills… We were outdone."

"I do not share that idea." Zamasu shook his head smugly. "Even if their strength exceeded ours, we had more means to get rid of them. But you did not even mind considering them."

Black took a deep breath; the obstinacy of his companion was beginning to feed him up. "You speak as if you were the only one affected. As if I were exempt from this situation."

"As far as I remember, no one manipulated your destiny against your will," Zamasu replied with a sneer.

"That's irrelevant. Do you think I enjoy having given up our deepest dream? You speak as if it were just your idea; don't you remember that we started all this because we shared the same longing, the same utopia of a world where only the just gods would rule the universes? Don't you think I'm devastated too that things ended up this way? It wasn't easy to make such a drastic decision; and yes, not just because of me, but because I knew that whatever I decided would affect you too. I know that I condemned you to an uncertain destiny in which you will no longer have a chance to fulfill your wishes, that I prioritized our survival over our pride… but remember for a moment that that includes me too. But I must also live with the guilt of having betrayed the only person who ever believed in me. Of having betrayed myself."

Zamasu pouted with an expression of deep frustration. He knew that what his partner said was true, but it was too difficult to accept. How would he continue living having experienced being so close to his dreams and having abandoned them, been forced to abandon them? How would he ever get back into a routine knowing that he now carried an eternal life of constant frustration ahead of him, with nothing to look forward to? How would he live knowing that his other self, the only person he had allowed himself to trust, had betrayed him?

"I'm sorry, Zamasu…" Zamasu lowered his face sadly. "I'm not in the mood to discuss this now. Please, leave me alone."

Black took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. "I understand."

He didn't even try to get Zamasu to look back at him, nor did he deserve it. He had broken his partner's temper again, why did he have to keep messing things up?  
He went to the door and took the knob.

"Good night," Black whispered, before opening the door and leaving the room.

Zamasu took his face in his hands and felt his lips tremble; he wanted to cry, to scream his disappointment. A dire night of emotions that would eat away at his thoughts awaited him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frustratio = Frustration


	6. Ambivalentia

The night's sleep hadn't been restorative for either of the young Kais. They woke up disappointed and apathetic, though already with a small amount of resignation, which mitigated even a little the frustration that until yesterday felt pulsing, like a burning wound.  
Black got up and immediately went to make morning tea. He didn't need any instruction; it was something he was used to since he had been doing it for thousands of years before he became Black. Of course, it made him face the misery of his current fate, the impotence of ending up again as a servant without the power to change anything. Discouragement was inevitable.  
When he came out carrying everything in the cart, Zamasu and Gowasu were already at the table in the inner courtyard of the temple. Black greeted them, poured tea for everyone, and sat next to them; Gowasu was making conversation, though Zamasu wasn't paying much attention to him. His partner didn't look as bad as yesterday, but he looked heartbroken. Black took his cup and tasted some, and couldn't help but purse his lips; the tea was very bitter, almost sour. How was it possible that an infusion as simple as a cup of tea could be so ruined by his own feelings? Gowasu drank without saying anything; Zamasu took a sip but showed no emotion. What an awkward situation.  
Gowasu kept talking, trying to include his disciples in the conversation; he seemed determined to rescue them from apathy.

"Did you ever consider the possibility that not all mortals you exterminated deserved death? That many of them were carriers of ideals and capabilities that could have led their species to evolution?"

Zamasu and Black frowned slightly. It was absurd that Gowasu intended to question their motives at this point.

"Of course we do," Black replied. "But making such discrimination would be ridiculous."

"Oh, really?" The Kaioshin questioned, raising his eyebrows with interest.

" What criteria would we use to decide something like this? How to prove that a mortal would really be useful to his species? And even if he were, he wouldn't be for his entire life. How to control so many variables?"

"Besides," Zamasu continued, "what significance would a virtuous mortal have compared to a thousand other ordinary subjects who harm each other? We do not deny that there are mortals capable of driving great changes in civilization, even in the species. But how relevant is their existence from a global perspective? Their life is insignificant if we take the species as a whole. A single individual cannot generate a significant change in his environment."

Black hid a smile; he was happy to know that his counterpart still shared the same ideas and supported his position.

"What makes you so sure of that?" Gowasu objected. "That one subject is unable to change the world?"

"Our own experience," Zamasu argued, somewhat annoyed. "We have spent millennia observing thousands and thousands of human civilizations, always going through the same spiral of mediocre prosperity and consequent decline until its extinction. The few well-meaning mortals were unable to change the course of history; their actions only reached a small, a tiny part of their society. If things are not changed from the beginning they are useless. Individual actions have no weight in the grand order of things."

Gowasu set his cup on the appropriate saucer before opening his eyes and speaking. "It's funny that you think that way since that's exactly what you were doing yourself."

Zamasu and Black frowned, confused and somewhat irritated. What the hell did that old man mean?

"You still don't realize it? You were two against the world. Two deities, certainly, but only two individuals fighting against a whole caste of gods, against an everlasting regime of a dozen universes, an entire temporal-spatial reality, trying to improve it according to your own ideals. Isn't it a bit ironic that you think one person is not capable of changing things?"

Zamasu opened his eyes a little, Black pursed his lips. It was very uncomfortable to think about the possibility that Gowasu's words made any sense.

"Our case was different," Black replied. "We are gods; we were aware of how the system worked since we were born and grew up in it, studying it, administering it. Neither our power nor our intelligence is comparable to that of a mortal, we knew very well what we were fighting against; we _had_ the ability to change things."

"That's a very big irony, don't you think?" Gowasu let out a cunning smile. "You couldn't really do anything from your original position; you had to take steps to compensate for your lack of power. You stole a mortal body, the Time Ring and the Potara earrings; you didn't know, you _don't_ know many things about the functioning of the system of the gods despite having grown up in it; you went against an entire system, against those of your own lineage, convinced that you could change things despite knowing that this is how it always worked, even if no one supported you. Tell me, Black, is that different from what you mentioned? Do you really believe that a single individual is not capable of changing the world?"

Black swallowed hard, with an uncomfortable feeling of rancor and frustration. It was impossible for his plans to be compared to those of a mortal.

"Are you comparing the plans of a god with those of a vile mortal? That is a fallacy in itself." Zamasu disagreed, just as offended as his partner.

"If you were able to see beyond your nature, you would realize that there's no difference in concept. Whether they're gods or mortals, many want to change things for the better. If you are lucky and smart enough you can use resources to meet your goals, no matter how you achieve them. Both we and those few mortals want to improve, even if we have everyone else against us. Isn't that what you guys wanted? To collapse the system of gods that you considered unjust and useless and that didn't heed your demands, even if you had to do it alone? Although it's difficult for you to acknowledge it, gods and mortals are more similar than you think. And that truth includes you."

Black didn't touch his cup of tea again; he knew that it had surely grown even more bitter. Breakfast was ruined.

The Kaioshin's words kept echoing in the false Saiyan's head as he walked through one of the vast meadows of the Sacred World of the Kais. After that argument, both he and Zamasu closed the discussion and changed the subject; they couldn't follow the thread of a conversation that tried to compare their actions with that of a mortal. It was an offense to their divine nature! Gowasu's speech was ridiculous, paradoxical, inadmissible… and so right that it could shake the ideologies of the misanthropic gods. The very possibility of that was a threat to their dignity.  
Black took a deep breath, trying to forget about it. After a while of walking, he reached the same point as the day before; the crater that his punch had opened in the ground remained intact. Black decided to take that morning to repair it; perhaps concentrating on such a banal task would help distract him from his other concerns. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and began to remove grass and dirt so he could level the ground and repair the accident. That planet was a beautiful place; it didn't deserve to be ruined by his outburst.

After a couple of hours, he finished his work. He hadn't been able to repair it completely but he was confident that the grass would grow back and the soil would regain its balance as the days passed. He couldn't do more.  
He returned to the temple for lunchtime. The three of them prepared the utensils and food and had lunch together. Gowasu again pestered them with philosophical questions that evidently sought to destabilize the ideologies of the young ones. Zamasu and Black didn't give him any chance; they weren't interested in questioning their motives at that point. The atmosphere was still too tense to discuss such delicate matters as these so casually.

Thus, another particular day of imprisonment in freedom passed. Black was tidying his bedroom and thought about looking for some books to take to his room; the Kaioshin collection of tomes was enviable and he could spend several lifetimes reading everything there. With that idea in mind, he made his way to the palace library. Great was his surprise when he found Zamasu there, sitting on one of the several sofas that had been arranged in that great room. He had no book in his hands; he was just sitting, staring straight ahead, a blank look in his eyes. Black gulped and walked over; his counterpart only reacted by moving his pupils.

"Can I have a seat?"

Zamasu seemed to hesitate for a few moments. "Yes."

Black sat at his right side, keeping a safe distance. He knew that Zamasu was still upset. "I'm sorry for all those things I said last night," Black apologized. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. I… I'm not taking this well either."

"I know. I thought I was the most emotionally affected by your decision, but the taste of the tea this morning made me realize that it is not so."

So he _was_ able to sense his deep discontent in the tea. Luckily, Zamasu kept his gaze straight ahead so he didn't notice the slight blush that appeared on Black's face; it was embarrassing to think that his feelings could be read so easily in a drink.

"Of course not. I'm not at all satisfied with this situation. But it was the only option that came up, and I took it before things got worse. It was a forced decision in the face of an ultimatum."

This time Zamasu looked at him from the corner of his eye, frowning a bit. "I see we still differ on some issues," he commented smugly.

Black pursed his lips, somewhat frustrated. He knew he couldn't make his other self change his mind so easily; his stubbornness was a shared quality. "So tell me… what would you have done? What option would you have chosen in that scenario so disadvantageous for both of us?" Black questioned sternly, thus hoping he could understand his counterpart's vision.

"Obviously, giving up would not have been one of them." Zamasu settled on his spot, leaning fully against the backrest, crossing his arms, and turning his head a little to be able to observe his counterpart since his mohawk obstructed his view.

"That's more than clear to me," Black replied defiantly. "But I don't want to know what you wouldn't have done, I want to know what you _would_ have done."

"Fight."

"Fight?" the false Saiyan repeated, incredulous. "Even when you no longer had a chance to win?"

"Are you forgetting that I am immortal? I could have kept fighting those filthy Saiyans until they used up all their strength. Their stamina and energy are limited, mine are not; I could have been there until they grew old, if it had been necessary."

"That battle was no longer about resistance only and you know it. What would have happened if they used that strange technique again and locked you in that urn once more?"

Zamasu's expression faltered for a moment; his discomfort at that memory was evident. "Well, you saw it yourself –they were not able to stop me with that; they could not catch a god," Zamasu replied, making an effort to simulate assurance. "Also, I do not know why you worry. It was just a desperate recourse on their part; they could not have killed me even if they tried."

"I wasn't worried about your life. I was worried about your dignity," Black replied seriously. "That you had to spend your life in eternal punishment, locked in some unknown and unreachable place. By the way…" His expression softened a bit. "I never asked you what you felt while you were locked in there."

Zamasu looked away and took several seconds to answer. "It was horrible," he answered in a lower voice. "I felt like I was suffocating, but I never quite finished dying. It was like an endless agony." He couldn't hide the anguish that was causing him to think about that dire situation.

Black watched him, concerned. "That was exactly what I wanted to avoid."

"For them to lock me up?" Zamasu questioned, confused.

"For you to suffer!" Black replied, somewhat troubled. "Don't you understand, Zamasu? It was no longer about the plan. I did this for you!"

Zamasu opened his eyes a little, surprised by that statement. Since when was this about him? Black sighed heavily, aware that he had to give an explanation.

"You weren't in my place, Zamasu," the false Saiyan began to explain, a little calmer. "I had to see how Son Goku beat and humiliated you over and over again, and you couldn't stand up to him. I couldn't win either, because… you were right," he ran a hand through his tousled hair, "I couldn't make myself strong enough to fight those Saiyans. I couldn't help you. That feeling was devastating!"

Zamasu changed his posture, dropping his arms to the sides and lowering his face a little to better see his companion. He hadn't talked to Black about it since it happened; he didn't know that part of the story. He had never thought about how Black really must have made the decision to surrender while cornered, skewed by the image of his helpless and powerless comrade. He felt somewhat guilty of generating those kinds of emotions in his counterpart. But he still refused to acknowledge that surrender was the best option. "Although I appreciate your interest in me, I am not convinced that this was the most appropriate response to the situation. We still had one last resort to keep fighting."

Black frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

"The fusion."

Black let out a soft snort. His counterpart was right; he hadn't considered the possibility at the time. But he wasn't sure he would have liked to use it either. "We've already discussed it," Black replied. "We don't know what would've happened after the fusion. The vague promise of becoming a more powerful being didn't outweigh the risks. You know that the result of the fusion is an entity with an individuality and an identity different from that of its parts; we would no longer be Zamasu, we would have been… I don't really know," he said, shrugging. "A sacrifice to allow the birth of that new being, a bait. What if that new god no longer carried our ideals, if he developed a different personality? We couldn't afford to use such an uncertain resource. Besides, it would've been useless –Gowasu had threatened to go with Zeno-sama if we didn't stop; we wouldn't have had a chance even having fused. We had no more possibilities at that crossroads."

They both kept silent for several seconds. Zamasu sighed in discomfort; his counterpart had good arguments.

"You are somewhat right on that point," the kai confessed. "While we always thought of it as a last resort… I admit I would not have been sure to use it either. I was always afraid to think about what we would become. If it is as they told us, it would not be a mixture of the two of us, but a 'third Zamasu', a different subject… I am not attracted to the idea that we stop being two people, even though we are the same."

A subtle smile played on Black's lips. "Indeed. I feel better being two entities with a single identity."

Black reached out his hand and gently rested it on Zamasu's. Zamasu just looked at him, indifferent. But after a few seconds, the Kai closed his hand into a fist under his partner's; Black took it as a sign of rejection, so he drew his hand back.

"That does not change anything," Zamasu commented, already with a more antagonistic attitude. "I cannot accept that you have given up on our plans at the first threat. You could easily have killed Gowasu before he went to Zeno-sama. And even if you could not defeat the enemies, we could have continued fighting, making time until we could find an alternative to escape or defeat them. The fact that you consider that surrender was the best option at that time is despicable. I cannot accept it."

Black frowned but with pity this time. His other self didn't really make it easy for him. "I never said I considered it the best option. I still think it was a terrible decision. But… it was the only one. It was our plans or our life."

"I do not know if what you got was worth it," Zamasu questioned, pedantically. "Now we are at the mercy of the gods we hate so much… I wonder if death would not have been better," he mumbled, as if to himself.

Black watched him, tired and frustrated. His patience had limits and Zamasu had reached them; it was useless to keep trying to convince him. "I'm sorry you think that. But I do think this was better." Black got up from the seat and walked away to leave the room, but stopped after a few steps, turning his head to his partner. "I decided to put aside my life's dream for someone else's well-being. I do not regret that."

With that said, he looked back and kept walking until he disappeared down one of the corridors. For how long would their encounters end like this, full of disappointment and spite?  
Zamasu frowned in genuine confusion. 'Well-being'? What was he talking about? Despite being immortal, he would be punished as well. Or at least that was what Zamasu knew. He closed his eyes and sighed with some pity. Although he tried to convince himself otherwise, rejecting Black's words wouldn't change his uncertain fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ambivalentia = Ambivalence


	7. Spatium

Another night of bad sleep passed, which consequently gave way to a morning of hopelessness and bitterness. The inhabitants of the small planet knew that the notification for the trial for the crimes of Zamasu and Black could arrive at any moment, thus filling their routines with an inevitable anxiety and worry from the first minute of the day. Gowasu spent time with his crystal ball, communicating with the angels and watching over the little that was left of that universe. For their part, Black and Zamasu tried to keep themselves busy to distract their minds, but their disagreement discouraged them from any activity. The days on the Sacred World of the Kais were long, and now even longer.

The meetings with Gowasu were always the same –tea, snacks, and the old man's questioning of the past actions of his students.

"Mortals were created in the image and likeness of the gods. They are more limited and fragile versions of ourselves, but they can achieve the virtues of a deity. Isn't it admirable that beings as simple as they can reflect the virtue of a god? Shouldn't this be seen as a species penchant for transcendence?"  
"Free will always has limits. Just as it's a sin for a mortal to rise up against the gods, it's a sin for a god to rise up against mortals if that's not his function. How could order exist if each individual acted according to his ideas, regardless of his position in the system? Ranks and roles exist for a reason."  
"If the universe is stripped of mortals, is it valid to say that there is justice? How would justice exist if there's no good and evil to balance?"

Gowasu's speeches had become much more interesting than when Zamasu and Black were his disciples, certainly, but what did he expect from that? That suddenly they will change their mind? For them to admit their guilt so that the gods had mercy on them at trial? The young ones replied and conversed diplomatically, but the Kaioshin's aim was laughable.

That day Black had been walking in the meadows and reading some books. He kept thinking that he wanted to go talk to Zamasu and solve his misunderstanding, but how would he do that? He was aware of the disaster he had caused and Zamasu wasn't willing to forgive him so easily. The Kaioshin's palace wasn't too large so they often crossed paths, but Zamasu showed no interest in spending time with his counterpart. When Black saw him near some trees in the park, Zamasu got up and left the place. He found him again in the library, but Zamasu just greeted him, took some books from a shelf, and left. At meals, Zamasu never stayed to talk after finishing his portion. They exchanged generic greetings in the hallways, and then nothing. Silence, indifference. Black's soul was recovering and getting used to the idea of the fate that awaited him but now he was worried about the disinterest of his other self; they had never been so estranged since they met. Black just hoped their time together would be enough to make amends… but for the moment, he didn't want to rush things. He decided to give Zamasu time to analyze the situation so that he could understand his point of view.

Another day, another afternoon, another kettle to prepare. Black still couldn't find an opportunity to speak properly to Zamasu; he couldn't argue about this in front of Gowasu, but Zamasu always seemed to be isolated. Or was it that Black was afraid to find the occasion and self-restricted his will? The false Saiyan was heartbroken. He didn't want to lose his only friend, but he felt that each time he spoke to him, Zamasu would move a little further away. Thinking about the possibility of things ending like this was nerve-racking.  
Black carried the tea cart to the inner courtyard table and began to serve the utensils, but was struck by the fact that there were several plates of various snacks served, and he knew all of them. He sat down, curiosity alight in his eyes.

"Zamasu prepared a great quantity of snacks to accompany the tea; have some," Gowasu announced, grinning widely.

Black quickly glanced at Zamasu, who was calmly sipping his tea. Had he just done all that?

"You never told Gowasu-sama about the needs of your new body, right?" Zamasu questioned, looking at him with the cup close to his lips. "The amount of food that we always served was barely enough to satisfy you. I know it well. So I prepared something that could satisfy you."

"Is that true, Black?" Gowasu asked. "You should have told me before. If Zamasu had not warned me, you probably would have had health problems in the future."

"What? No, I…" Black hesitated, unsure of what to explain first.

Zamasu had noticed that the food was insufficient and prepared it for him? It wasn't an act that surprised him in general, but why now? Did it mean he was giving in? Or was it just his usual diligence?

"It was an honest mistake, Your Excellency," Black explained, but without taking his eyes off Zamasu. "It's true –Saiyans require a food intake far superior to that of an ordinary human. But I haven't been using a lot of energy lately and I'm still getting used to the pace of life here… I'd forgotten to comment."

"I see. Well, your partner prepared a variety of things, so feel free to eat as much as you like. I'll make sure to increase the portions for meals."

Black bowed in appreciation. Zamasu wasn't paying attention to him; he was still drinking his tea, indifferent as if that good gesture had been just a coincidence or a mere act of commitment. He knew he wouldn't come to a conclusion, so Black tried to dispel the questions from his mind and began to drink the tea, accompanying it with a handful of the snacks made by Zamasu. They were as delicious as he remembered them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spatium = Distance


	8. Risus

The next day, very early, Gowasu received news from one of the court angels. They told him that Zeno-sama and the angels were full of work, rebuilding the damaged universes and choosing the future gods of each, so the trial would be delayed for a few more days. Gowasu promptly advised his disciples about this, who obviously took the news in good spirits. Although delaying their punishment for too long only increased their anxiety, they were grateful that they could have a little more time in freedom. Who knew what would happen after their conviction… Their life would never be the same again, for sure. Black breathed deeply; it meant he would have a little more time to seek understanding of his other self. Given the news, Gowasu suggested some activities to the young people that they could do as the waiting time had been extended a bit longer. There were temple rooms that needed to be cleaned and tidied, areas of the garden that were neglected, parts of the entrance and stone pathways that needed maintenance. Of course, Gowasu could fix all of those problems with a snap of his fingers, but a big part of what he intended to teach his apprentices was the importance of discipline and hard work. He knew that the Zamases had used the Time Ring and the super dragon balls to achieve their twisted plans, which revealed their lack of patience and temperance; simple tasks like those could help them understand the value of personal effort. Besides, focusing their minds on something outside of judgment and the fate that lay ahead would be good for them.

That morning, Black chose to take one of the tasks the Kaioshin suggested, pruning some bushes and trees, the tops of which had already lost their shape. Given the size of the planet, it wouldn't take long to complete all the pending tasks, but he still needed something to occupy his time. Black wiped a hand across his forehead to wipe away a few drops of sweat and looked at his work: the plants on the main path leading to the temple were looking neat and symmetrical again. He couldn't deny that the product of his own effort was very satisfying. After cleaning the area, he decided to go to work on the rear area of the palace –some flowers had grown uncontrollably and others were hopelessly dead, so the garden in that part needed a deep cleaning. Without hesitation, he headed there.  
An array of flowers stretched from the rear walls of the palace to several tens of meters in sight; against the wall of the building, a long wooden fence was eaten by a thick vine, from which hung large, fleshy white flowers, similar to Earth lilies. When he had gotten close, Black stopped a few meters to contemplate the image in front of him. Zamasu was there, delicately pruning the clump of flowers and arranging them to look neat on the fence. The pristine white of his hair blended with that of the flowers, forming a picture full of beauty and elegance. Black hesitated for a few moments but moved closer.

"I see we had the same idea," he declared, approaching Zamasu cautiously.

"It is no surprise, we both like white flowers," Zamasu mentioned casually, without taking his eyes off the flowers. "It was a shame to let them grow so messy."

Black was silent for a few moments, trying to decipher his partner's signs of acceptance. "Do you mind if I help you?"

"No. Go ahead," the Kai replied, glancing at him briefly.

Black took some pruners from a toolbox and began to groom the plants, the leaves and stems of which tangled haphazardly over the railing frames. As he did so, he noted with interest that other flowers in the flowerbed at his feet were withered; others, already dry and dead.

"How strange it's that these flowers have survived so well all this time," he commented, genuinely interested. "Many others died or are in very bad shape due to lack of care; it's been a long time since you left this planet and no one took care of them. But these continued to reproduce and grow… What a great contrast."

"It is a quality of the species," Zamasu answered, as he continued working. "Some flowers depend on external care. This, instead, has evolved to survive in this microclimate, adapting to adverse conditions and maintaining its beauty despite everything. They are very resistant despite looking so delicate. They are great beings."

Black glanced at his partner; did he notice that his description also applied very well to himself?

"It's true. They're magnificent."

The two of them continued to prune the plant, pulling out overlapping segments and arranging the stems so that they tangled neatly in the channels of the fence. Black wanted to use the opportunity to talk to Zamasu; he didn't want to spend any more time apart. But the other went ahead.

"The creator gods were stupid to create mortals," Zamasu commented, without abandoning his task. "But the flowers… I give them credit for that. They are a wonderful creation," he said, caressing the corolla of one of them. "Stunningly beautiful, of all sizes and colors. Some harmless and delicate, others poisonous and carnivorous. I love their whimsical nature."

"They don't attack other species or harm each other," Black added. "They are the true heirs of divine beauty."

Zamasu gave him a sideways glance. At least it was nice to know that they both still agreed on some such intimate matters. "And to think that even we do not know them all… I remember there was a planet in quadrant eight that had very pretty iridescent flowers." Zamasu mentioned the fact with remembrance, shyly starting a conversation.

"Oh, yeah. Its colors were fantastic. "Black smiled, pleased that Zamasu wasn't ignoring him.

"Or those of XQT-blue-315. Those that grew in all directions?"

"They were majestic! But the beasts of the forest always ended up eating them as soon as they bloomed."

"Right. It was a shame…"

Black watched Zamasu; he no longer looked indifferent, but rather somewhat sad. Perhaps the memories of their travels wiping out mortals across the cosmos weren't the best topic of conversation… but it was the only thing they could hold onto now.

"Do you remember that night we stayed on that planet in the turquoise galaxy, the one with nine moons?" Black asked. "We slept in the middle of the forest to watch the glow that the flowers emitted at night and how their brilliant pollen was thrown like tiny fireflies. It was like magic in the air."

Zamasu completely stopped his movements, which caught Black's attention. Slowly, the Kai turned to his partner, a smile playing on his face.

"I had almost forgotten about that," Zamasu commented, smiling warmly. "The colors of that forest, that night that we killed the mortals of that world… It was something extraordinary."

Black's eyes widened a bit. It was the first time he had seen Zamasu smile since they had surrendered. He hadn't realized how much he missed that smile until now.

"Wow, I did not remember all the places we passed while traveling," Zamasu admitted. "It was so recently, and now… it feels like a dream."

Slowly, the smile was fading from his face, and it was expected –the illusion had suddenly collided with the reality of the circumstances. All that they had done could've been a dream, a hallucination, which would soon be erased and returned to its previous state, repairing the universes that the other gods considered "damaged." A tragic end to that utopia that they remembered with so much affection and in which they had worked for so long, with so much care, after so much pain…  
Zamasu turned his gaze and continued cutting the flowers, this time with a little more darkness in his face. It seemed that no matter what his partner did, Zamasu couldn't get over his frustration over the past. Black fell silent and didn't try to get closer again; he too had fallen into the branches of disappointment. The gods finished working on a section of the fence and each one went their own way; it was still difficult to spend time together without feeling miserable.

The afternoon was already giving way to the night. Black was sitting on one of the sofas in the palace library. He had selected some books to take and read in his room, but in the end he ended up leaving them on a small table next to him and throwing himself there to meditate. How much time had already passed? 15 minutes? 40? 2 hours? He had no idea and didn't care much either; it wasn't like he had any more obligations than waiting. The silence of the room seemed to suffocate him into a silent lethargy.  
He was so absorbed that he hardly noticed when a figure approached; it was Zamasu, who had also gone to get some books and bumped into him in the middle of the room. He took a few steps closer and made a slight gesture.

"Do you mind if I…?"

Black shook his head. Zamasu took a seat on the same sofa, clasped his hands on his lap, and stayed silent for a while.

"How are you?" Black asked, without moving from his place.

"A bit better. How are _you_?"

"As well as I could be in this situation, I suppose," Black replied, forcing an attempt at a smile that was only pitiful.

"So not very well…"

"No, not so much…"

Silence again. In the absence of words or movements, the tension was overwhelming. Things couldn't go on like this. Black sighed.

"Zamasu… I don't know how long of freedom or life I have left, but I know that I don't want to spend it like this. I don't want to walk into that courtroom while estranged from you."

Zamasu looked at him, interested.

"As I told you," he added, "I don't mean for you to forgive me; you can hate me if you want, but… at least let's make it clear. We never needed to hide things from each other." Black looked down with evident regret. He didn't know if his plea to make amends would work, but he literally had nothing left to lose.

"I do not want that…" Zamasu answered. "And I do not hate you either. But… I am having a hard time accepting this situation, even if I know the reasons you had to do so."

A small glimmer of hope flashed in Black's eyes.

"I am sorry to have distanced us, it was not my intention," Zamasu confessed with an air of disappointment. "It was not personal; it is just that… all of this makes me feel terrible. To be serving in this temple again, and to know that the other gods have won and are looking for ways to get rid of us and reverse the world we created… it makes me sick." He grimaced with deep hatred. "My mood has been a mess and I cannot help it. I evade because I cannot offer you anything at this time; my company is just an aura of bitterness and disappointment. I honestly do not understand how you still have your vitality and good spirits. I could only think it was because you were handling it better than me."

"I don't think that's the case," Black replied, straightening a little in his spot. "I feel desolate as well. Maybe… I just convinced myself that this was for the best under the circumstances. When I saw that our lives were in danger, I took what I had to save us. I still think that falling before those Saiyans would've been a worse punishment than this… Maybe that's my consolation."

"Maybe you were right about that," Zamasu admitted shyly." But at the same time… I cannot stop thinking about everything we left behind. I cannot accept that everything was reversed so suddenly. I was living a dream… At what point did it turn into a nightmare?" Zamasu frowned and shook his head gently, showing his honest confusion.

Black took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Zamasu. Everything has been my fault since the beginning. It probably would've been better if I had never come for you ..."

Zamasu left his thoughts and went directly to his counterpart, curious by those words.

"All I did was drag you into my own debacle. I should have contemplated all the possibilities before getting you involved and condemning you with me. It's true that I didn't want you to stay another minute in this place, I wanted to get you out of that routine of despair and frustration that I also knew, but… what was the point, if in the end I brought us here?" Black spoke with anger but also pity, which blended into his voice and his eyes. "Maybe it would've been better if you had never met me. If you never knew how low we could go…"

Zamasu's heart clenched a little at those words. Was that the way Black look at the situation? Now it was all the more difficult for him to think how it was that he looked better than him with all that guilt nesting inside him. Since when did he feel like this? "What are you talking about? Black, I do not regret meeting you." Zamasu answered very decisively, frowning a little as he took Black's hand that was on his lap. "I would never think such a thing. You took me out of my punishment that was this life of servitude and you showed me that realizing our dream was possible, that we could change things. You gave me a reason to live! You made me feel like I was not alone and you proved to me that we really could do it."

"But you told me that was the worst of all," Black replied, taken by surprise. "That having taken you with me to create our utopia and having betrayed you was worse than never having known that possibility because now you knew what you could have achieved but you will no longer have the possibility of achieving it."

"I did not mean that," the Kai replied, somewhat annoyed. "I am upset that we lost what we achieved, but if I had not teamed up with you I would never have known how far we could go. The utopia in my head would have always been an uncertain illusion. If it were not for you, I would not have done anything with my life." Zamasu softened his face in empathy with his counterpart and gently squeezed his hand. "I would rather have thrived and fallen than never gotten up."

A minute of silence opened between the two. Black was stunned, but at the same time very happy that Zamasu saw him that way; not as a burden, but as the only friend he had, and someone who could show him that he could indeed change things and make his dream come true, even with the consequence that he could no longer recover what he had achieved.

"Do not offend me by thinking so badly of yourself. I appreciate you very much," Zamasu clarified with a kind look, patting his partner's hand before withdrawing his own. "It was not my intention to make you think that my discomfort was because of you. I am frustrated by the events, it is evident. And… I guess I used you as a scapegoat to justify my frustration," he confessed as if that truth had suddenly come to his thoughts.

"It wasn't a scapegoat; _I_ _was_ the one who turned us in."

"But that is not what bothers me. It is the very fact that we had to surrender. That we really did not have any other option than that. To accept that our plan failed." Zamasu looked down doubtfully; it seemed that every word that came out of his mouth was a revelation of what he hadn't wanted to accept. "We could have done better… but we failed," he murmured as if he'd never considered that possibility.

Black looked at him with interest. Had Zamasu never really thought about that? Did he really believe that there might have been another possibility for their plans to work?

"There were contingencies we didn't consider," Black mentioned, also frustrated. "That humans could create a time machine was something that would never have crossed our minds. Even for us it was difficult to consider all the possibilities."

"So… I suppose this is our punishment for not having planned things as thoroughly as we needed to." Zamasu sighed as if finally accepting his share of responsibility in all this tragedy. Maybe it was their fault that they left some things to chance and allowed those Saiyans to take advantage of them in a way that they could no longer reverse. To think that the execution of the plan he had dreamed of all his life had not been pondered enough was a low blow to his ego.

"It's useless to think about that now," Black said, trying to alleviate his counterpart's guilt. "Things are already done. We can only wait."

They both lost their sight ahead, anguished at the idea. Not knowing what tomorrow could bring them caused them great insecurity and fear, which they still had trouble controlling.

"At least I am glad we can be together," Zamasu commented, a little more animated. "If I had been confined alone, I probably would have already tried something crazy."

"Like what?" Black asked curiously.

"Like escaping, even if I did not have a way or place to go."

Black let out a slight snort. "So you haven't tried?" he said, with an amused smile.

"No… although I contemplated the possibilities." Zamasu smiled back. "The energy barrier around the planet is very strong, I would not be able to damage it. I already analyzed it. Nor can I disappear from here; Gowasu never taught me the Kai Kai."

"I expected nothing less from you." Black leaned back, in a better mood now. "I also thought a lot about the options, but they didn't leave us any. I cannot use the Time Ring without the Kaioshin Potaras. And I can't use instant transmission because that barrier prevents me from perceiving any external ki to use for reference."

"Oh? So it is not like you were really interested about serving your sentence," Zamasu questioned, with a sly smile.

"You should know; we think the same, right?"

They both chuckled, amused by the idea.

"We cannot escape this fate…" Zamasu lamented. "But, as you said, we can at least try to enjoy our time of freedom until the worst comes."

Black nodded. Zamasu looked at him, with a weak smile.

"Thank you for working so hard and thinking of me. I still find it difficult to think that we were defeated, but my mind will have to get used to the idea sooner or later. Still, it comforts me that we are still together. In spite of everything, you did not break your promise –together until the end.

"And I'm keeping it," Black stated.

Zamasu gave a warm smile to his partner, who was very happy to be able to see that expression on his face again; his perseverance in getting close to Zamasu had been worth the effort. "Then…" Zamasu got up from the seat, adjusting the front folds of his sash. "I will take the books I came for and go to the kitchen. I told Gowasu-sama I would help him with dinner and I am sure you are hungry after all that work today," he explained with a half-smile.

"Wait." Black got up too, quickly. "I'll go with you."

"As you wish. Shall we?"

After taking their books, the two left the library and went to the kitchen, where they would try to emulate some of the recipes they already knew to alleviate the false Saiyan's appetite. Even though Black stomach roared, his heart was full; he had gotten his partner and friend back, and that was all he wanted now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Risus = Smile


	9. Velum

That conversation in the library was a turning point for the duo. From that day on, they began to seriously think that it was useless to continue torturing themselves crying over past mistakes, and their motivation for the day to day was renewed; as they had said, they preferred to enjoy the little time they had left before their sentence was executed. The two Zamases began to have more contact, to meet frequently in the same spaces, and to share talks and tasks, just as they had been doing during their crusade. They still debated sporadically about the misfortunes of their plan and the heavy frustration they shared, but they were already able to control that feeling so that it didn't mess with their state of mind. Their routine became more interesting, bearable, and even fun. It was much easier to accept fate when they had the other to support each other through adversity. Also, Zamasu was getting used to referring to his other self as "Black", as Gowasu had originally proposed.  
Their relationship with Gowasu was also improving. Brewing tea was no longer a heavily imposed task, but an almost reflex action that routine facilitated. Arguments with the Kaioshin, though they could still become somewhat heated, were better received; the young ones refuted the ideas of the elder but they already had the mettle to question their own practices and ideas a little from the proposals of their teacher.

"There are many human qualities and disciplines that tell about their desire for transcendence and to share a legacy with others, with posterity, and with the universe," Gowasu explained. "Music, language, morals; don't you think those are virtues worthy of admiration?"

"Of course, but many of those virtues are not mortal in origin, but inherited from the gods," Zamasu suggested. "They are one of the few features that refer to their creation in the likeness of deities."

"True mortal qualities are the ones we see most often –hatred, selfishness, bigotry," Black added. "Mortals only foul an essence that could have risen to virtue."

"Ah, but that point is very fallacious," the old man replied. "Why say that all mortal virtues come from the gods, and defects are exclusively mortal? Don't we gods also know hatred and selfishness to a certain degree? Do we all have flawless virtues and dedicate our lives to the advancement of discipline and art? It's very comfortable and convenient to think that all the good things in mortals come from the gods and the bad is the unique heritage of their species. But what evidence do we have of this, if we ourselves are the proof that even imperfection belongs to the divine?"

The young Kais often had to give their tutor credit –Gowasu was no charlatan. He was a very wise guy and he had known how to turn his talks around in order to reach his disciples and question their way of thinking without being offensive or repressive. Their conversations weren't necessarily focused on changing the perspectives of others, but they inevitably reached that point sooner or later, sometimes even suggested by his apprentices. Now there was a true exchange between the two parties, which little by little were opening to understand the other's perspective. There was no longer fear of reprisals, frustration at not being heard, or silence in the face of the unspeakable; now sincerity was the standard because there was nothing to hide. It was ironic, but Zamasu and Black had a better relationship with Gowasu at the time than they had at any previous time in their lives. But none of them were bothered by that.

That afternoon, Black had gone to do something while Gowasu and Zamasu stayed in the garden, chatting and having tea under the shade of the Sacred Tree. Now that things were better among everyone, the young ones agreed to spend time with the Kaioshin outside of the commitments that were the meal times; their interest in chatting and debating was now genuine. However, Gowasu had noticed some slight signs of anxiety in Zamasu, that didn't go unnoticed.

"I have noticed you have been somewhat worried lately, Zamasu," the old man mentioned in a friendly tone. "I see you uneasy. I know I'm not your true teacher and the only Zamasu I really know is Black, but I can sense that something is bothering you. What's wrong?"

Zamasu ran his fingertips over the rim of his cup and sighed. "Nothing in particular. It is just… it has been several days since we have been here; it will not be long until the assembly of angels makes a decision and calls us to give us their verdict."

"I see. It's natural to feel overwhelmed by such a situation. But try not to think about it; it's useless to let yourself be won over by uncertainty."

"But how could I do it?" Zamasu replied as if asking to himself, making light gestures with his hands. "The decision of that group of people who hate us will mark our fates."

Gowasu took a sip of tea and smiled fondly. "Are you worried about Black?"

"Sure. About both. It is difficult to remain calm thinking that an exceptional punishment awaits us."

"You speak about Black. You will not suffer whatever punishment is imposed on you."

"Why not? We are both convicted and we will suffer the same," Zamasu replied, not fully understanding what he meant.

"Wait." Gowasu paused, putting the cup on the table. "Didn't Black tell you anything about it?"

"… What are you talking about?" he answered with confusion, frowning.

Gowasu took a deep breath, somewhat strained. Inadvertently he had opened a breach for which he would've preferred not to be responsible.

Black was in a section of the library that he rarely visited, wandering the labyrinthine corridors among the bookshelves; he was looking for interesting-looking books to take to his room and read later, and in the process, he cleaned the somewhat dusty shelves. Focused on his task, he paid no special attention to the footsteps approaching him from behind.

"Why did you not tell me that the sentence for turning ourselves in will only be paid by you?"

The reproach stopped Black's movements for a moment. So it happened. He knew this moment would come sooner or later and that he had prolonged it for too long, wavering over and over again because of his personal difficulties. He had managed to hide it very well as the court never mentioned it in front of Zamasu, and neither did Gowasu, who avoided the subject in general. But there was nothing left to do but face it. Turning around to address his partner cost him; he looked just as his claim made him foresee, with an authoritarian posture and an unfriendly expression.

"I was waiting for the right moment to tell you," Black replied, trying to hide his discomfort.

"And when was that going to be?" the other rebuked him, without hiding his disgust. "The trial day? When they parted us and had to explain to me why?"

Black frowned a little, inevitably sorry. The hatred in Zamasu's eyes seemed poised to torture him for his fault; his discomfort could be seen in his aura. "I'm sorry," Black replied. "I admit it –I should've told you much earlier. But I knew how you would react, and I never found the courage…"

"It is not just about time. What were you thinking of turning only yourself in? Why did you not share the blame with me?"

Black's gaze hardened."We already talked about this. Why condemn you when this was all my fault? I was the one who decided to surrender and end our dream; the most logical thing was that I was the one who paid the consequences."

"I reproached you for making that decision without consulting me, and then you do it again!" Zamasu chided him, clenching his fists; he looked very angry. "We fought together for the Zero Mortals Plan; the sentence should have been equal."

Black sighed and took a step, getting a little closer to Zamasu. "No. I was the one who brought you here. _I_ killed Gowasu both times, _I_ came to look for you in this timeline, _I_ was the one who filled your head with illusions and promised you a utopia to rule together, only to betray you and surrender, despite knowing what that would mean for you. It was all my fault since the beginning… There's no reason for you to pay for my sins."

Zamasu softened his expression; he knew that Black's words were not an excuse, but a justification, a confession of that guilt that his other self suffered.

"I know I shouldn't have kept it from you. But… we are the same person. I know you would never have accepted this deal if I had tried to negotiate with you. I've already ruined your life by showing you the world you could've come to have and then taking it away from you. Your mistake was only dreaming of a perfect world for the gods and following me, trusting that I could help you achieve it. That's not a crime. I didn't want you to pay for a sentence you don't deserve."

The sincerity in Black's words partly soothed the fury of his counterpart, who watched him somewhat surprised by his intense search for redemption, but still very frustrated. "If you know how I feel, you know that my pride cannot tolerate this situation."

"Yes, I know that well," Black replied, very confident.

"So?"

Black raised his left arm and placed his hand on Zamasu's shoulder, affectionately. "Don't you see, Zamasu? I couldn't turn you in and drag you with me. If I hadn't appeared in your life, you would not be here suffering from an uncertain destiny. You would still be unhappy, yes, but you would never have known this huge disappointment. I was the cause of all this and the one who surrendered to defeat; this is what corresponds to me."

"I am not a puppet you manipulated to follow you," Zamasu replied, very determined. "I was fully aware of what I was doing; we allied ourselves because we both wanted the same thing. I accompanied you of my own free will!"

Black smiled tenderly. "And it's my will that you don't pay for my mistakes." Black lifted his hand from Zamasu's shoulder and took the side of his face, underneath his mohawk. "You are very important to me. I couldn't hand you over to those guys. I can't let them hurt you."

"I am immortal…" Zamasu questioned, confused.

"I don't mean that. I couldn't bear to see you in a vulnerable situation, someone hurting your spirit or your dignity. Not again," he clarified in a low voice, with a special melancholy. "I would rather deal with your own disdain than have to see you hurt one more time."

Zamasu's eyes gleamed with innocence, moved by the feelings of his other self. He knew that he felt similarly too and that he would surely have done the same if the roles had been reversed, but that just made it harder to accept the situation.

Black dissolved his smile a bit and separated his hand from Zamasu's cheek. "I hope someday you can forgive me for all this," he added, as a useless plea, turning his gaze down to the bookcase.

Black turned and went back to his task, cleaning the edges of the books, though now maintaining a more sorry attitude; he looked defeated. He didn't really expect Zamasu to forgive him, he didn't know if he himself would be able to do it; he was satisfied that Zamasu understood why he did it and that they could continue to maintain their relationship of equals until the future punishment arrived and separated them in any way.

"Thank you."

Black heard a shy confession of thanks in a low voice, and then only the sound of footsteps drifting away from him. He closed his eyes and swallowed, despite the lump in his throat. As he had suspected, the forgiveness of his partner could not overcome the self-reproach to which his own soul punished him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Velum = Veil


	10. Renuntiatio

That night was uncomfortable for everyone. Black couldn't sleep, wondering over and over if the decision to surrender alone, without discussing it with Zamasu and having hidden it from him for so long, would've been the right thing to do. He didn't know if anything he decided had been the right thing to do, but this was something he could definitely have handled better; by trying to avoid the displeasure of his counterpart he ended up hurting his pride again. Was it worth it to ensure his well-being? Yes, definitely. But he couldn't help feeling bad about it.  
Zamasu circled under the covers, also brooding over the matter. He understood Black's reasons for turning himself in to ensure his freedom, but he couldn't share it. He didn't want to do it. He hated that his other self had made all those decisions on his own, without asking him. He also hated to think that he probably would've done the same if he had been in Black's position, causing him a moral annoyance that disgusted him even more.  
Even Gowasu was uneasy, knowing that he had been the one who forced them to face that dilemma, even if it was not his intention. It was a topic that they should have discussed exclusively with each other, without the need for a third party meddling in a matter so sensitive that it touched their relationship and their future. It wasn't his fault, certainly, but it was hard to stop thinking that his words were to blame.  
The night was a small torture for the three inhabitants of the distant planet.

But life continued its course, like the days in that place. Like every morning, the young Kais met with their tutor, shared one of their usual talks over tea, and smiled with some hypocrisy at the friendliness of others. No one mentioned Black's grievance for having hidden the truth from his counterpart; it wasn't something worth mentioning in that context. It was something that had to happen one way or another, and in any case, it would've had consequences. The only thing left was that those involved could accept it and thus dissolve that slight discomfort that surrounded them.

That morning, after tea, Black had gone to the sector of the planet where the crater that he had made days before was located. The grass that he had planted for the soil to recover had already begun to grow and the surface was slowly regaining its shape, which was a comfort to him, who never really wanted to hurt the beauty of nature. When he was returning to the temple, he paused for a moment in the middle of the meadow to feel the gentle breeze that blew caress his cheeks. He probably couldn't enjoy such a gentle and reassuring feeling after his conviction.  
However, the sound of the grass gave away the footsteps of someone closer. Zamasu approached and stood next to Black silently, his hands behind his back, losing his gaze in the same direction as him. A few minutes passed without anyone saying anything, just both of them enjoying that familiar but still admirable landscape. But Zamasu knew he had to say something.

"What were you going to do if they called us for trial any day now and you still had not explained to me that only you would turn yourself in?"

Black took a few seconds to breathe in the scent of grass and flowers before answering. "I would've explained it to you at that time, before entering the room."

"That was your plan? To make me believe until the last second that we would both share the sentence?" Zamasu replied, looking at his counterpart with a certain amount of cynicism.

"It wasn't my plan. That would've been the only option, a desperate recourse. The plan was to tell you first."

"It does not seem to have turned out very well for you, huh?" Zamasu said, with an arrogant expression.

"No. It seems to be becoming a habit…"

Black alluded to the failure of the Zero Mortals Plan and that annoyed Zamasu a bit. He hated to think about the idea that his life's dream had failed.

"And what would you have done if I opposed the idea and demanded to share the blame, as it should be?" Zamasu asked, very serious.

"Obviously, I wouldn't have allowed it." Black finally returned Zamasu's gaze, loaded with presumption. If a competence of cynicism and pride was what he wanted, he could give him a worthy battle.

"How easily do you say it; how could you have avoided it?" Zamasu challenged him.

"Are we going to ignore the fact that I'm stronger than you?" the other replied, a proud smirk on his lips.

"Are we going to ignore the fact that I am immortal and you could not defeat me?" the Kai countered, arching an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't need to. Shutting you up or immobilizing you would've been enough."

"You would not."

"You're me, you tell me."

Zamasu sharpened his gaze, charged with contempt for the sagacity of the other one's answers. Black held his gaze very confidently. It was useless to fight against themselves; neither would give the other a millimeter of advantage and Black was determined to stick with his decision.

"From the moment I turned ourselves in, it was clear to me that everything I would do would be an offense to you," Black explained, his expression softening. "I knew that I would surely earn your hatred and your contempt, that I would lose your trust that I valued so much… but I didn't care as long as that allowed you to escape unscathed. Obviously, I'm not saying I don't appreciate your respect or trust, but I would and will do whatever it takes for you to escape unnecessary condemnation. If you know yourself, you'll know that my stubbornness will not allow me to change my mind now."

Zamasu huffed, abandoning his stubborn posture. Black had assumed many things, some even offensive to him. He was flattered that his counterpart wanted to protect him so badly, but it also made him feel hypocritical and powerless. "Everything you say hurts me. You know it, right?" Zamasu said, genuinely uneasy.

"Yes. And I wish there was another way. But if there is, I don't know it. I just… " Black hesitated for a moment, looking down, unsure how to articulate his words. "I just want you to be okay. When all this is over, you will be a free god again and you'll regain your normal life."

 _But I do not want a normal life anymore. I just want to be free if I can be with you_. Zamasu made an effort not to let his lips bare his thoughts so drastically.

"Nothing will be normal after this," Zamasu replied, stricken. "It does not comfort me that they are going to concentrate a sentence of two people for you alone."

"I imposed conditions for our surrender and Gowasu will also be held as co-responsible. If they comply with it, it shouldn't go too bad."

"Do you really think that I am able to trust the judgment of these so-called deities? I am not afraid to be honest –I do not trust this plan at all."

Black sighed, looking back at his counterpart. "Zamasu… don't think about this anymore," he said, shaking his head gently, forcing a defeated smile. "It's not like we can change it, anyway; it's what I wanted. I'm sorry to disappoint you, once again… But this can no longer be changed."

Zamasu pursed his lips, an obvious discomfort in his being. He didn't like the idea that Black was the only one convicted of a crime they both committed; it had been a shared project, mutually supported and motivated. However, he couldn't be mad at him. His concern for his partner erased any possibility of disgust. Still with uncertainty in his eyes, he took Black's hand and squeezed it gently. "Whatever happens, I am not leaving you alone. My life will never be the same again after meeting you. But I do know that I want you in it."

Black smiled, touched by the genuine appreciation and concern of his other self, and returned the squeeze. "Thank you."

The silence of the meadow caught the scene. The couple remained motionless, held together by their hands and by a mutual and silent promise to stay together despite everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Renuntiatio = Resignation


	11. Reciprocus

Gowasu observed his disciples chatting and smiling as they arranged the garden in a sector of the palace. For a few days, he had been worried that this conflict of hiding the topic about a single sentence from Zamasu would affect their relationship, but apparently, they had overcome it without difficulties.  
The old man thought about them from time to time and never ceased to be surprised. Zamasu and Black were very close, it was evident. He didn't know what their relationship had been like while they were traveling through the universe, murdering mortals with the excuse of creating their utopia, but he imagined that it must have been very close and deep, like a brotherhood. Zamasu never found a person who understood, much less supported, his ideas; after all, who would do such a thing? It was against all the statutes of the gods. But he did find it in the end, even if it were in his other self. And that fact in itself was curious… Gowasu knew that Zamasu was not a humble man, so allying with himself didn't sound far-fetched. But what he saw between them wasn't mere narcissism. They both seemed to take an honest interest in each other as if they were really someone other than themselves as if they were really another one and not just "another me". Was it possible that they appreciated the other more than themselves, even if that other was just a version of themselves? The question alone sounded like a confusing puzzle, but it was worth contemplating and Gowasu found the idea interesting. Perhaps he could use it to open the hearts of his pupils and make them reflect on some things.  
The Kaioshin smirked and withdrew into the temple; his universe still required his vigilance.

That afternoon, the young people welcomed tea time: they had been working in the yard for several hours and their bodies were already demanding a little rest and food. Like every day, they met with Gowasu and shared a snack, this time under the shade of the Sacred Tree. Some days ago the Kaioshin had proposed to discuss aspects of mortals that the gods often didn't know or understand, in order to both educate and soften the hearts of his disciples in this regard. Clearly, it was a topic to which Zamasu and Black could contribute a lot.

"Something I couldn't bear was seeing how humans tried to defend others, standing in front of them or trying to dissuade me with their words," Black recounted. "Some offered me their own lives so that I could forgive that of others, despite having seen that my intention was to destroy them all. Tsk, they are a very stubborn and naive race."

"Do you think that this behavior had no ulterior motive or meaning?" Gowasu asked.

"Sure, but what was the point if it wouldn't work anyway? Why would they do something so naïve? Did they really think that I would spare one's life by taking it from them? Why are they so stubborn about their inevitable fate?"

"Yet you have done something similar, Black," Gowasu replied. "You sacrificed yourself in a way for the sake of Zamasu by accepting the punishment of the Zero Humans Plan for yourself."

Black's eyes widened and briefly met Zamasu, who had also been struck by that analogy.

"It could have been a nuisance for you, yes. But that act you're complaining about is one of the greatest virtues of humans –the ability to sacrifice for what they love. The will to give one's life in pursuit of the survival or well-being of another: altruism in its purest form."

Black and Zamasu listened to the explanation, somewhat stunned. They had never really thought about the roots of that behavior they had made fun of so much.

"Consider this: mortals' first and last instinct is survival. And yet they can go against that primordial instinct, putting someone else's life ahead of their own. Isn't that the purest and most selfless form of love that exists?" Gowasu paused briefly to observe the reaction of his apprentices, who were listening with great interest. "Zamasu," he pronounced, addressing him. "If the circumstances had been different, wouldn't you have sacrificed your life for Black's?"

Zamasu stood up a bit before the proposal, somewhat restless. Doubtful, he opened his mouth to begin speaking.

"He couldn't do it" Black interrupted, very serious. "He's immortal. He cannot give his life to anyone else."

Zamasu sighed softly. Since gaining his immortality he had never seriously thought about the possibility of such a thing; he never needed to. And Black was right, but still…

"Okay, that was just an example for explanation purposes," Gowasu concluded. "What I want to emphasize is that, Black, Zamasu, you yourselves have been sacrificing for each other for a long time, just like the humans you slaughtered. The way in which you protected each other, in which you responded to attacks directed at the other, in which you ran to help your companion… All of this is a form of sacrifice. To be genuinely interested in the other more than in your own lives. Zamasu, you continued fighting and defending Black even though your immortality had no guarantees since you could have been defeated, like the time you were locked in that vessel. Black, you never stopped protecting Zamasu, despite knowing that he was immortal and you were not. Can you see how you gave yourselves to the other, even if there was no need? That is the ability to sacrifice."

Only the sound of a light breeze carrying with it some petals of the Sacred Tree could be heard for a few seconds; the silence captured the group. Zamasu and Black were stunned. It was shameful to think that they themselves had incurred an attitude with such human roots, but more interesting was that they had never noticed it. Their alliance, their way of fighting, and their priorities in battle weren't things that had even required discussion; they had always acted according to their hunches, but if there was something deeper that had been conditioning their actions they had ignored it until now.

"Remember how much we talked about how mortals were created in the image of the gods," Gowasu continued. "You are capable of putting the life of others before your own and humans also inherited that quality. As I was saying, it could have been an obstacle for you during your plans, but I hope you understand that this act of stubbornness, compassion, and sacrifice is one of the greatest virtues of that race that you wanted to eliminate."

Many times, Gowasu's lessons sounded like an indirect rebuke to the duo, but this time it didn't bother them at all. They were engrossed with the idea that mortals had inherited such an important quality. The gods generally didn't need to sacrifice themselves for the good of others; they had the power and means to protect others without receiving equivalent harm. But what if it wasn't like that? It was not an attitude that was taught… Could humans use a virtue that even the gods ignored? It was surprising. Of course, that they managed to emulate that behavior didn't change the fact that they were useless beings to the cosmos, leaving only destruction in their wake, but it was a question that they had never focused on and worth questioning. Gowasu had managed to find a real topic of interest.

When the tea was finished and the conversation was over, Gowasu retired to perform other tasks while his disciples busied themselves with the dishes. Today it was Black's turn to take care of the dishes but Zamasu remained there, something bothering him inside.

"Why did you interrupt Gowasu-sama's question?"

"What does it matter?" Black replied without looking at him as he picked up the cups and placed them on the cart. "There is no point in exposing yourself, forcing you to answer that you would give your life for me as if it were an obligation or something. Giving up your life is not something to be taken lightly."

"But I would," he replied naturally.

"What? Are you crazy?" He looked at him now, though still distracted by his task. "First of all, you couldn't do it even if you wanted to. But in the hypothetical case that you could, why? Why would you give up the immortality you have so longed for, and the only remnant left of your dream of being the absolute god of an ideal world of light and justice?"

"For you."

Black opened his eyes and fixed them on his partner, puzzled. Zamasu looked away for a moment as if surprised by the spontaneity and security of his own answer; he didn't even have to think about it, the words came out of his mouth quite naturally.

"For what reason?" asked Black more specifically, unable to get out of his astonishment, looking for a justification for such a radical decision.

"Because it would be for you. Why would I need more reason than that?" he clarified, smiling and shrugging his shoulders a little.

He looked back at Black, who was stunned, and left the park. Black came to himself after a few seconds and continued with his task, although somewhat stunned by that statement. It seemed that Zamasu's appreciation for him hadn't changed despite all the things that had happened, and that eased the guilt a bit in the false saiyan's heart. Their fraternity still remained intact and it was good to know.

When he finished cleaning, Black went to find Zamasu, who was in a section of the garden with bushes and fruit trees. Now that things were good between them they enjoyed spending time together as before, looking for activities in which they could complement each other and talk.

"I do not think we ever tried cooking with these berries," Zamasu mentioned, picking a small fruit from a medium-sized bush and putting it in his mouth. "They would go well on a cake or dessert."

Black also took one of the fruits and tasted it, raising his eyebrows slightly in satisfaction. "They have a taste similar to terrestrial berries," Black added, "although they are not as sweet."

"It cannot be helped; the terrestrial fruits were especially sweet. I do not know if there is something similar in this universe…"

Black glanced at his companion for a moment, who was showing a certain melancholy. "Maybe one day we can go back," Black mentioned softly. "I mean, when this is all over. We could visit the Earth incognito and taste the fruits and foods from there once again. So that we don't just stay with the same memories."

Zamasu smiled with some sadness and nostalgia, but sincere happiness. "Yes. I would like that," he replied, looking at Black with a tender smile.

Black smiled back, excited just to think of the possibility. Getting back together and reveling in the earthly wonders they had once had a chance to enjoy sounded very nice. It would be nice to build new memories together beyond the failure of their past plan.  
But the sound of hurried footsteps around the temple dispelled the attention of the young men; it was Gowasu, who came briskly to their location.

"Black, Zamasu…" he called them, somewhat agitated. "The angels have contacted me. The trial will take place today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reciprocus = Reciprocal


	12. Sacrificium

No one was prepared for this, if that was even possible. The seclusion had lasted for several days so the defendants must have had time to prepare mentally, but no amount of time would be enough for it. Zamasu and Black were once again in that area of Zeno-sama's palace, in front of a large platform that served as a courthouse. Gowasu accompanied them from a distance, as defender and co-responsible. At the end of the platform, on a curving row of seats, the angels waited in silence. In front, the High Priest. Everything was ready for the final resolution. The day had come.

"We are here today to deliver the verdict on the crimes perpetrated by the apprentice of Kaioshin Zamasu, alias 'Goku Black,' and his associates," said the High Priest. "His accomplice, Zamasu of this world, will be exempt from judgment, as had been agreed. However, he will be expelled from the post of Kaioshin postulant and the order of the Kais for obvious reasons."

Zamasu took a deep breath, but still nervous. At least it seemed that the deities were willing to fulfill their end of the bargain.

"His defender, Kaioshin from universe 10 past, Gowasu-sama, will be acquitted. It was considered that his intervention was key to the defeat of this threat, so he will be exempt from trial and free to return to his pertinent timeline as soon as the process ends."

Gowasu smiled openly, very pleased to know that the gods had considered and appreciated his role in the matter.

"As for Black's conviction… It was not possible for Zeno-sama to personally participate in the verdict," the High Priest clarified, his expression somewhat frustrated. "Given his busy routine, he was unable to catch up on the case and ordered us to handle the penalties according to the official statutes and rules of the world of the gods. So we will proceed in that way."

Black's eyes widened with interest; to be saved from Zeno-sama's wayward judgment was a great victory! A flame of hope kindled in his heart.

"Technically," the little deity said, turning to Black, "the punishment that corresponds to you for your repeated crimes against the lives of billions of mortals, dozens of gods and massive destruction of all universes is death and consequent imprisonment for several life sentences in Hell."

Zamasu and Black stirred at those words. Was it possible…?

"But one of the conditions imposed for your surrender was that you did not receive a prison sentence," the High Priest continued, "which was respected. In addition, the exclusive managers of this punishment are the Gods of Destruction, who at this time do not exist in any universe. Angels are not allowed to condemn a person for his actions against others; we must remain neutral without exception. So the charges of murder and mass destruction must be acquitted in these circumstances."

Black felt a tingling run through his body; the emotion was great. Could he get out of this so easily? Gowasu and Zamasu watched expectantly. Redemption was very close!

"However," the High Priest cried aloud, interrupting the thoughts of everyone present, "those were not the only crimes committed. Goku Black, you also murdered your own guardian from another timeline to steal the Potara earrings and the Time Ring, in order to illegally become Kaioshin and jump through time carelessly. Those are indeed unforgivable crimes according to the statutes of the gods."

The High Priest hid a wicked smile that was trying to show on his face. The others listened, now in fear.

"The betrayal of the imposed role and the theft of divine materials such as the Potara of Kaioshin and the Time Ring, as well as time travel without restrictions or valid reasons, are considered absolute sins without the possibility of absolution. Therefore, the corresponding punishment will be to give back the Time Ring that you carry… and the final death penalty."

A drop of cold sweat fell from Black's temple, Gowasu stifled a sigh, Zamasu held his breath. It wasn't possible! The trio expected some kind of strong condemnation, but death? To be erased completely with no possibility of resurrection? There had to be some mistake there.  
Zamasu gaped for a few seconds, before breaking his posture and approaching the center of the room.

"With your permission, High Priest," he addressed him, raising his hand. "But I think this sentence is not appropriate for the case. Black was promised that you would be flexible with his penalty."

"You are wrong about that," the High Priest clarified, with false kindness. "The clauses of his conviction or, rather, the conditions that were imposed on us given the fact that he surrendered of his will were that he would not receive a prison sentence and that you were exempt from all charges."

Zamasu pursed his lips in obvious frustration. He was right; Black had made the mistake of excluding a prison sentence but not death. What was the point of that? But Zamasu wasn't willing to let them win. "But sir," he called again, "you said so yourself –there are no deities named at this time to kill Black. He cannot be executed by anyone just like that; that would be going against the statutes of the gods."

"That will not be a problem in this case," the High Priest replied, with a slightly cynical smile. "The Gods of Destruction are only essential when it comes to punishing a mortal for common crimes, such as genocide in this case. But for the violation of divine rules of this level, any deity above the culprit is authorized to act, even angels. So, in this case, I can personally take over the execution."

Zamasu listened in horror, in total denial. This was the worst possible outcome.

"The culprit will hand over the Time Ring and it will be given to Gowasu-sama here present," announced the High Priest, in a resonant voice, "to be taken back to the timeline to which it belongs. As for Black, he will be punished with the absolute death penalty."

Zamasu shot a worried look at Black, who stood frozen in place. A thousand thoughts crossed the mind of the false saiyan at the same time, looking for a possibility of escaping his new and fateful destiny imposed. Run away? Teleportation was useless; Zeno-sama's palace was too far away to track any external ki. The Time Ring? No, not that either… He couldn't use it without the Potara of Kaioshin. To resist and fight? He could never defeat the High Priest! Much less in a place where Zeno-sama could appear at any moment. He couldn't just surrender and let himself die! But there seemed to be no way out…

"Excuse me, High Priest," Gowasu called from his place, "but I also believe that this penalty is somewhat high. There must be some way to punish Black without executing him. He stopped and turned himself in of his own free will!"

"High?" the little man repeated, squinting disdainfully. "Gowasu-sama, you must understand very well that we are talking about a subject who has sullied the natural order of things. We are not only talking about countless crimes against the integrity of mortals and universes, which had to be acquitted on a technicality, but about a crime as serious as the theft of privileged and exclusive tools of the gods. Having stolen and used them inappropriately was also his will; a mistake that he must pay for with his life. The life of a Kai rebellious to his role is not a great price to pay for so many crimes, anyway."

Zamasu clenched his jaw hard at that. It wasn't a great price to pay? Yes, that's what Black's life meant to them –nothing. Something that they could easily snatch, stupidly justifying themselves that this was how they defended the tools of a Kaioshin, and that even by right they belonged to him since Black would also have been Kaioshin one day. He couldn't blame them; it was obvious that the other deities wouldn't forgive Black and there were no other punishments with which they could get rid of him. But to come up with such a vulgar excuse to present his execution… it was despicable, at a level below that of mortals themselves.

"Very well, Black, we await for…"

"I refuse!" Zamasu interrupted the High Priest, at a volume that quickly silenced any surrounding sounds. "I refuse to accept this penalty!"

The High Priest, the angels, even Gowasu and Black were greatly surprised by this outburst. "You are refusing? To a penalty imposed on another?" the Grand Priest questioned, frowning in confusion.

"Yes! I know you are all eager to make Black disappear… but the condition of our surrender was to give us a second chance and it is being taken away from us. I will not accept this punishment."

Zamasu bellowed, very upright and looking up; he wouldn't allow deities to pass over him as if their judgment were absolute. As if they could decide the fate of other gods without further ado. Black wanted to stop him; the last thing he needed was that they also ended up punishing or hurting Zamasu! But he didn't dare; he also was desperate to hold on to whatever survival chance he had.

"It is quite shameless what you propose," replied the High Priest, "since you have been exempted from conviction precisely because Black requested it. We are delivering justice…"

"Justice?" Zamasu interrupted in a mocking tone. "You should know that we are here precisely because I do not share your idea of 'justice'. Therefore, I will not accept these terms."

The High Priest gave a long sigh, trying to stay calm. The group of angels that surrounded the enclosure kept murmuring with concern.

"Zamasu, if you continue to oppose our verdict, I fear that I will have to force justice without prior preparations," he said in a severe tone, raising a hand and pointing at Black, "and I don't think that's your…"

"I refuse!!"

The little man couldn't finish his sentence; before uttering the word, Zamasu had positioned himself in front of Black with impressive speed, his arms in the air, as if protecting his counterpart.

"What is this all about?" the High Priest asked in a calm tone, still pointing with his arm.

"Zamasu, what are you doing?!" Black asked in a low voice, his anxiety running high.

"Preventing you from dying," he replied, barely moving his head to look at him.

Gowasu didn't quite understand what was happening –he didn't know how to react; the deity chamber whispered uneasily. The High Priest had to force his patience.

"Are you planning to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your other self? It is a very noble thing, to come from a multiversal genocidal like you," the deity commented. "But you should know that justice is inevitable. And if you oppose it, you will share the same fate as your partner. Rebellion is an unforgivable crime."

"Heh, I think you are forgetting something," Zamasu added, lowering his arms with an elegant flourish. "You cannot get me out of the way. I am immortal!"

Zamasu's voice echoed through every corner of the room. The High Priest blinked anxiously. He wasn't going to be intimidated by a criminal.

"Do you think your immortality will prevent Black from receiving his punishment? Even if you are immortal you do not have the power to oppose me or any of the angels empowered for the task. We could easily finish you both."

Zamasu smiled and chuckled. "Power?" he continued, a wicked smile on his lips. "Who needs power when I can withstand all of your attacks and rise unscathed from each of them. Who needs power when I am the perfect shield. When I am superior to all of you!"

The angels were silent, the High Priest backed a little from his place; Zamasu's expression had infiltrated a hint of fear in his person.

"You want to kill Black with the excuse that he used the tools of the gods inappropriately? Well, you shall pass over me first!" Zamasu shouted more and more euphoric, waving his hands. "You can do nothing against an immortal god! You claim to be superior, but none can match this virtue! You can launch all the attacks you want on me and I'll get up; I will not leave Black unprotected for any moment. If you try to get close to him, I'll kill you mercilessly; and I hope you don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm weaker than you just because I'm down here! You're talking to the god who had the 12 universes decimated at his feet and you dare to refuse my terms?! I have said that I refuse Black's penalty; I will not allow him to be taken from me!! And whoever questions my purposes will pay for it with his life!!"

The entire audience fell silent in astonishment. Black remained behind Zamasu, dumbfounded, fearful of the outcome of these circumstances. Gowasu's jaw dropped; he couldn't bring himself to get involved. One of the angels called to the High Priest and he, somewhat reticent, turned to them; the deities had gathered in a small group to informally discuss what to do with this situation. The room was filled with an impatient and disorganized murmur.

"We cannot let them get away with it; they are a danger to the universe."

"But you cannot forcibly kill Black while he's still wearing the Time Ring; it would be blasphemy."

"Even if they threaten us, the High Priest could easily finish them off; nor should we discuss it, they don't stand a chance."

“But don't forget that they basically took over the 12 universes; their power is far beyond that of a Kai… We should not underestimate them.

"And it is likely that if Zamasu is attacked, Black will break his stance and renounce his surrender… We cannot risk another rebellion."

The angels murmured softly, as they glanced at the green-skinned Kai, still standing in front of Black with no will to change his mind. The High Priest separated himself from the group, returned to the dais, and cleared his throat.

"In view of this refusal on your part, Zamasu, what do you propose to do in this situation? You know you cannot get out of here without a conviction for your crimes. Someone must bear the responsibility."

"Then we will both bear with it."

Black's eyes widened, as did Gowasu's.

"Black took all the blame for the Zero Mortals Plan without consulting me, but I do not agree with that. If you intend to impart your justice, it will have to be over both of us. But it will not be with the death of any of us. Not with Black's, I will not accept that penalty," he clarified, shaking his head. "And not with mine since it is not possible."

The High Priest remained motionless in his place, surprised at Zamasu's tenacity; it was certainly admirable for someone to rise up in that place to resist like that, surrounded by enemies. The little man turned to the group of angels, who murmured a few things to him, without taking his eyes off the convicts, and returned to his place. "Given these circumstances… the trial will be postponed until a new sentence is approved for those present and that involves both equally. But this time it will be Zeno-sama in charge of arranging it, so that the verdict is irrefutable. Gowasu-sama, you can leave with the inmates until you are notified again."

The High Priest came down from the dais with a dissatisfied expression, while the group of angels received him with concern. Zamasu sighed covertly. Gowasu gave a loud snort and wiped away a drop of sweat that was already falling on his temple with the back of his hand.

"Zamasu…" Black called him.

Zamasu paid him no attention; he moved from his place in front of Black and headed for the exit, followed quickly by the other. Black was stunned; he didn't know whether to thank his partner or reprimand him for condemning himself with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sacrificium = Sacrifice


	13. Timor

Gowasu, Zamasu and Black quickly returned to the Sacred World of the Kais, appearing directly in the inner courtyard of the temple; it was just getting dark. Gowasu sighed deeply.

"My, it was a hectic day. This poor old man can no longer bear these shocks as before," Gowasu said softly, massaging the bridge of his nose. He took a few steps and stopped. "Zamasu. Either of you…" he called, without looking at them. "Make me some tea and take it to my room in a few minutes. I need to get some rest," he muttered, ending in an almost inaudible tone.

"Yes, Your Excellency," both Zamases replied in unison.

Gowasu didn't look back at his apprentices again and disappeared down one of the corridors. Zamasu set out towards the palace; Black followed him right away. He wasn't sure how to talk to him after all this, but he couldn't remain impassive.

"Zamasu…" The Kai didn't react, so Black called him again. "Zamasu."

"What were you thinking?" Zamasu sternly interrupted whatever he had to say to him, stopping and staring at him, his look like a dagger.

Black stopped too, his heart racing. The room they were passing through was already being consumed by the slight darkness of sunset.

"Were you going to accept your death just like that? If they told you to step forward to be executed, would you have done it without resisting?" he scolded him, his expression full of resentment.

"I had no intention of giving them my life," Black replied, determined but also pained. "But I _had_ contemplated the possibility that my punishment was death…" he clarified, looking down.

"I did not."

Black raised his face and noticed that Zamasu's expression had changed to one full of grief and frustration.

"I cannot conceive it." Zamasu frowned, his eyes brimming with tears. "Were you going to pay for my freedom with your life?"

Black swallowed hard, feeling the guilt harden his throat. Zamasu bit his lower lip, walked over to Black, and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his left shoulder.

"I don't want you to die, Black."

Black didn't know how to react; he was stunned.

"I was scared," Zamasu continued in a low, hurt tone. "I didn't know what I was going to do if you died, if you left… I don't want to lose you," he pronounced softly, drowning his words in his partner's clothes.

Black's heart was pounding wildly, moved by the sudden act. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Zamasu. He noted how their bodies responded, sticking to each other as if they were a complement; how Zamasu's hands on his back held him tightly, as if in a naive attempt to prevent him from disappearing; how his partner's mohawk brushed his cheek, causing him a very slight tingle that contrasted with the rough skin of his Saiyan features. Black felt terrible for having caused this but at the same time he was relieved, reaffirming that his counterpart felt the same as him. The life of one was inconceivable without the other; they were a symbiosis. From the beginning of their alliance, they had forged an indissoluble bond, stronger than their words could explain, but they never needed to worry about the well-being of the other. It was the first time that both had experienced fear for each other's life. And it was a terrible, paralyzing feeling.

"Forgive me…" Black muttered, holding Zamasu a little closer to his body.

Zamasu didn't respond with words, but something in his grip told his partner that he could count on his forgiveness. Their hearts calmed down after a few moments. Zamasu slowly pulled away, keeping his arms around Black. Their eyes met; it was the most sincere way they had to communicate. Black felt a very deep guilt that corroded his interior, but it was appeased by the understanding of the other. Zamasu felt frustration and fear, but the exchange of their glances reaffirmed his confidence and made him feel contained by his other self.

"I will not accept any punishment that involves parting us," Zamasu declared, shaking his head gently, still half-hugging Black.

Black responded with a soft, shy smile. "And I won't let that happen. I promise you," Black concluded.

Zamasu smiled affectionately, narrowing his eyes, making Black's soul calm and his heart burn with joy. "I will go make tea for Gowasu-sama," Zamasu continued, lowering his eyes and releasing Black from his hold. He turned and continued on his way.

Black replied with a guttural sound but remained in the room, which had already grown a little darker. He moved his hands a little anxiously; something was bothering him. He thought for a few moments. It wasn't the first time that he hugged Zamasu, but it was the first time that he did it with so many feelings at stake. Black sensed how the warmth of his partner's body still seemed to linger on his chest and shoulder, and how his heart was pounding. The circumstances had been extraordinary, that must be the reason. Black stopped thinking about it and continued walking through the long corridors of the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timor = Fear


End file.
